Don't Drown in your Tears
by Blue -Niagra
Summary: This is angsty. Natsume leaves and Mikan goes into a state of depression. What happens when he returns? Will Mikan be able to love him again? Or will she just cry? R&R although u dont have 2
1. Goodbye Natsume Hyuuga

Natsume leaves for a a long time and Mikan goes into depression because he never told her about it, and when he returns the old Mikan he loved has changed into a cold, depressing person. Can she change back, or will she drown in her tears?

Me: New story, but, this is ANGSTY!

Rabdom fan: ...

Me: Yeppers, angsty people

Reviewer: ...

Me: ...

Me: Disclaimer, I do NOT own Gakuen Alice! I had this idea last year, and, it is very angsty, I myst tell you! Be warned!

**Don't Drown in your Tears**

**One: Goodbye Natsume...**

Mikan sat under a blooming sakura tree that sunny afternoon, clutching a letter in her clenched hands, her knuckles white. The letter was from Hotaru, telling Mikan not to enter her labrotory for a few days because she was working on an 'important' project. Mikan couldn't care less, Hotaru was always busy with work. No, the reason she was so angry was because of the other letter, the one beside her, and she picked it up, staring at the writing as tears pricked her eyes, and she re-read that letter, the one from 6 years ago...

_**Flashback**_

_Mikan was sitting under a sakura tree that day, where she was reading a letter that made tears spill down her pale cheeks, and she put a hand to her mouth, shaking her head, she didn't wnat to believe it, the threatening tears soon cascaded down her face and onto the grass she sat on,_

_Dear Polka-Dots,  
I am going on a long mission around the world, I don't know when I'll be coming back or IF I'll be back, but Ruka  
told me to send you a letter as he didn't want you 'too' upset over my leave. I think I might die in this mission, or I  
may live, but remember, I may never come back. But you'll most likely forget me.  
Natsume Hyuuga_

_Mikan's tears dripped onto her hands and the letter as she sobbed and shook her head, she couldn't believe it, Natsume Hyuuga was really leaving._

_Mikan stood up and started to run through the dormitry block, she knew Natsume would still be in his room, packing for his journey and his stupid mission that would probably kill him. Mikan ran all the way, her tears spilling down her cheeks as she stopped in front of his door, and suddenly she flew in, to Natsume's shock, and she stared at him with large, tear filled eyes._

_"Polka-dots... What are you doing here?!" Natsume suddenly snapped angrily, and Mikan started to glare at him and threw the stupid letter at his chest as he stared at her, confused._

_"Natsume, you idiot! You could die on this mission and you don't care! How can you leave, now!? Especially at a time like this... You moron!" she screamed, punching his chest as he stared at her in utter shock, then suddenly pushed her away roughly as his bangs fell into his eyes and he glared angrily at the brunette._

_"Don't you DARE touch me! This isn't your choice to make! I can do what I want! You aren't the boss of me! This is MY decision! I don't want to talk about this anymore with the likes of you! Just GET OUT!!!" Natsume started to shout angrily as Mikan gasped and stared at him, wide eyed with shock, the tears in her eyes hitting his carpet as she looked up at him, and saw the coldness in his eyes, and hurt. He walked past her, but as he passed the crying girl he heard a small, shaky voice call to him._

_"Natsume... You don't care about my feelings, do you? You only care about yourself. But, what if... What if you DID die?! What would I do then, huh? It would break my heart." she turned to stare at him, her eyes brimming with fresh tears, "Natsume, what if I said I loved you!? Would that change your mind!?" cried the brunette as Natsume stopped walking, and clenched his fist, staring at the door, Mikan watching him, her eyes boaring into the back of his head, then, he started to walk again, faster, this time._

_"Nothing will change my mind, you stupid girl." he said in a shallow voice and walked out of sight as Mikan gasped loudly, and fell to her knee's and her head fell into her hands as she started to cry and his footsteps faded away, leaving the girl in her weeping state..._

_Days later, Mikan was seated in her room, refusing to leave because she was grieving for Natsume, wanting him to return. Now, Mikan was always in a pool of tearss, but Ruka and Koko had once walked in when she was in a real state of depression._

_"Mikan, we came to tell you something. Natsume once told me to tell you this, 'Don't drown in your tears.' We... Don't know what it means exactly, but it may become clear in the future, perhaps?" Ruka said as Mikan stared at him, then slowly turned her head away as the tears trickled down her face and she stood up, facing the window, then walking towards her window as she stared out of it, blankly._

_"I... Don't care anymore. I don't care about anything, now. I have wasted so many tears on him, already... Why do i even bother? He can die on his journey, for all I care. Now, go, leave me alone, and never talk to me AGAIN!" she screamed angrily, her voice had started out cold and turned angrier by the minute, she roughly pushed them out of her room, and slammed the door behind them._

_Mikan slid down her door, and forced herself to never cry again, to become cold..._

_**End Flashback**_

Mikan stared at the letter in her hand, then wiped her eyes roughly, glaring at the old paper, telling herself mentally not to cry for the boy who broke her heart so coldly. Mikan growled and suddenly started to tear the paper in half, then into fours and smaller pieces, and then she started on Hotaru's letter, as well. She stomped off angrily, leaving the paper to blow away in the wind.

Ever since the day she had confessed her love to Natsume and he coldly left, she had suddenly grown cold and depressed. ice had formed around her broken heart and her smile had suddenly disappeared. The sparkle in her eyes that captured a boys heart was missing and she laughed no longer. Mikan was cold, distant and wouldn't approach anyone but Hotaru and Ruka, she barely said a word at all and she rarely ever made eye contact with anyone.

On free lessons, Mikan would either sit in her room alone or under the sakura tree, alone, all the time. No one dared to even go near her. Mikan didn't dare to shed her tears in the light or outside, but inside, Mikan was crying. Mikan had tried to escape many times, but the only way to escape from herself was making herself bleed. She cut herself.

Mikan knew it was wrong, but seeing her own blood hitting the cold ground made her feel so much better. Mikan wished to forget Natsume Hyuuga, but she couldn't. It was him that made her so lonely and distant from the world. It was all his fault.

It was his fault for never returning he rlove. But Mikan never knew that all the time, Natsume had loved her, but that Persona had forbidden him to tell her, and that if Natsume told her his feelings Mikan would be dead. So, Natsume acted cold towards her. No one but Hotaru and Ruka knew this, but, they promised to never tell the brunette.

As Mikan walked away, someone watched her closely. Her stride was brisk and her long waist length hair flew with the breeze in it's high ponytail. She had grown a fringe and the person could see ugly scars covering her wrists clearly, her school skirt was long and touched her ankles, swaying in the wind, and, what suprised this person most was that she had no smile upon her face, and no sparkle in her brown eyes. He saw that her nails were painted crimson and black, like blood and the night sky. Was this the Mikan Sakura he loved? _Was _she Mikan sakura?

Once she was out of view, he stood up from his hiding place, his bangs overlapping his eyes as he looked towards the school building. He was meeting Ruka, and that Hotaru, in Hotaru's room. That was why Mikan was forbidden to enter for the next few days, because he was there.

Natsume wanted to know why Mikan had changed, and he knew that only Hotaru and Ruka could tell him, because Mikan would not approach anyone else...

End Chapter One 

Short but sweet... well, not sweet... I made this a year ago and all the chapters were short, but I actually expand the chapters more on the computer... Okay, review, please, ehehehe... Hope you enjoyed, warning, angsty chapters.

_**Love Blue -Niagra**_

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	2. The Explanation

The second chapter of Don't Drwon in Your Tears... Enjoy

Me: ... Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice.

Rating: T for language most likely...

The chapters will be short so bear with me okay? Sorry

Well, enjoy this chapter, if you want, but to be truthful, angst isnt anything to be happy about.

Sayonara, the story...

**Don't Drown In Your Tears**

**Two: The Explanation...**

The raven haired fire caster sat in the dim lit room that belonged to Hotaru Imai, and he faced Ruka, his best friend, and Mikan's best friend as they spoke to him.

"Natsume, Mikan really has changed, when you left, you left with such coldness and hatred that she had the impression you really did not like her, at all. You never told her you loved her back, right after she confessed to you." Hotaru explained as Natsume stared at Hotaru, then sighed and gave a small, understanding nod, he knew that well, that she had changed. It had really hurt him to be so cold and cruel towards the girl he loved dearly.

"You know that I know this. But... I have seen her, recently, I saw her today, walking off. She looks... Different from the last time I saw her. Ruka, is the girl I saw... really Mikan Sakura?" Natsume asked as Ruka gave a small sigh and then stared at Natsume, a small nod giving Natsume his answer. Natsume shivered, and stared at the floor as his hands curled into tight fists.

"Natsume, ever since you left the academy, Mikan went into a state of depression, one that is hard to get out of. She lost her smile, her sparkle. Mikan became cold and distant and changed her ways. She started to listen to depressing music and painted her nails only black and red. Her hearty has turned into a block of ice. She will only ever talk to Ruka and I, and... I suppose you have seen the scars that she prints on her wrists?" Hotaru asked silently as Natsume gave a short nod,

"Well, she cuts herself. She says it makes her fell better, that it's her only escape from life. No one can get through to her, anymore. Mikan isn't well, I think. I think that you need to spend time with her, help her to find happiness again... Only you can make her smile, now." Hotaru said calmly as she ended her sentence with a sad, mysterious sigh, and the Hyuuga boy gulped. He had done all of that, to the girl he dearly loved?

Did he even know this girl who was supposedly Mikan? He shook his head slowly, and tried to clear his mind.

The happiest, bubbliest girl he had known from 6 years ago was now a 16 year old teenager who dealed with depression and a cold heart. Natsukme couldn't believe that such a sweet, loving girl could turn into one of the most cold and heartless people he would know.

"Oh, another depressing fact to be filled. The day you left for your little 'Mission', her grandfather died. Mikan could barely cope and locked herself inside her room for a long period of time. When she finaly came out if her room, Mikan started to say things like there was no meaning to life and that she was better of being dead. Sumire once did the wrong thing by telling Mikan that she had mental problems, so Mikan punched and kciked at Sumire, Mikan even bit her. Shoda was hospitalized for a week." Ruka explained mournfully as Natsume stared at his best friend in shock.

Hotaru then spoke again,

"And now no one dares to go near her... Sumire calls her a blood thirsty vampire and everyone just learned to stop being afraid of Mikan whenever she stared at them. Everyone knows she still mourns her grandfather, but they still don't know that you, Hyuuga, are the main reason behind all of this." Hotaru whispered as she drank down some tea, then slowly stood up as Natsume stared at her.

"She learned to stop making friends, and she became quiet. Peace was never in my life, and, I hate it." she said bitterly as Natsume stared at her, and shook his head, then stood up from the place he was sitting.

"Wait... That isn't really Mikan, is it? Is it only me... That can help her? Tell me." Natsume asked, pleading as he held onto Hotaru's arm, and she stared at him, giving him a sad sigh and staring at him with her sad, violet eyes.

"I don't know, Natsume. Mikan's heart has been broken into so many tiny pieces and the ice encased around her heart won't melt... I don't know if you can mend that heart and melt the ice, no matter how strong your fire alice may be." Hotaru whispered so quietly it was barely heard as she left, her tears trailing down from her eyes as the door closed behind her...

X X X

"Hel-lo class! How are you today? Well I am fine thanks!" chirped Mr. Narumi happily as everyone in the class turned red due to embaressment due to his eagerness and hyper being. They rolled their eyes at his stupidity, they always did. Mikan was just simply staring out of the window like there was nothing to care for in life.

"Well, I also have a _superb_ announcement, children! Someone has returned to the alice academy after 6 long awaited years. He is back, back again. Oh he's back..."Narumi's annoying singing voice was immediately cut off by one very angry Mikan Sakura, who glared at him, coldly.

"Shut the fuck up! You're fucking annoying so just stop it before I kick your ass!" she yelled angrily as Narumi cowered away from her, then sighed as Mikan sat back down, still glaring at him. She was such a sweet girl at one point, he remembered, but everything suddenly went wrong, for some reason he never knew...Mikan turned to staring at the window again as Narumi straightened up and started to shake a little.

"Er... Well, let's all give Mr. Natsume Hyuuga a warm welcome back to the Alice Academy, class B!" Narumi cried happily as the raven haired boy entered the room, and the first thing he noticed upon entering the said room, was Mikan. Her hair was different, it was now straight and a head band held her hair in place of her chestnut hair. Her chocolate eyes were lined with black liner and her lips were painted ruby red. She looked very deep, staring out of that window at her desk.

Mikan fel Natsume's gaze on her, and she shuddered. When Narumi had said his name, Mikan's head may have lifted slightly, and her stomach started to churn and do back flips. Mikan ignored it and kept her gaze on the window, staring at the East firest with no interest. Mikan didn't care anymore. Everyone in the room were either gasping or saying how handsome Natsume was.

"Natsume! You are soooo tall! Oh, and so handsome!" exclaimed Sumire breezily, waving towards Natsume who was ignoring her, like normal, and his gaze was still set on the depressed girl. He couldn't stop staring at the girl he loved. She still looked beautiful, despite those ugly scars and her new appearence. He sighed, then slowly made his way to his old sea, beside Ruka, and Mikan, who still hadn't budged from her position.

"Hey, Natsume! Mikan, look who's back! Your partner, Natsume Hyuuga!" Ruka said, grinning as Mikan turned to look at the two and she simply shrugged, glaring as she looked Natsume up and down.

"So? Not like I would care, because my feelings don't count, do they, Hyuuga?" she asked in an angry monetone as he blinked, taken aback by her tone of voice. Mikan turned once again and rolled her eyes, glaring at the outside of the window as Natsume stared at her, sadly. He sighed, taking out a manga book and placing it over his face to hide the sad emotion in his eyes...

Later that day, Mikan was in her room, pacing the floor and angrily throwing things around, screaming her anger.

"That idiot! Why now!? Why couldn't he have just _died_ like he wanted to! Why can't he just get out of my head! Can't he stop haunting me! Why ME!!!?" screamed the young girl, throwing books and CD's onto the floor and her hair brush made a small dent into the wall. Mikan then screamed again and threw herself onto her bed, the pillow over her face as she screamed and kicked out angrily, punching the matress.

Then, there was a soft knock on the door and Mikan looked up, angry that someone had entered. Mikan glared at the figure, and saw that it was Hotaru Imai, her best friend. The raven haired girl stood in the doorway, staring at Mikan, sadness encasing her violet orbs.

"Mikan... You can't simply ignore him foreverm you know you have to..." Hotaru started, but Mikan cut her off by throwing a smashed CD cover at the door, and then her pillow, glaring and ready to scream.

"And why can't I!? He has nothing to do with me anymore! He left this place, expecting to die! I will not talk to him, Hotaru! Now go away, before I seriously hurt you and I don't want to do that!" she snapped as Hotaru stared at Mikan, and the inventor was suddenly shoved out of the bedroom and into the halls as Mikan slammed and locked the door behind her, and then soon a mirror shattered against the wall into millions of tiny pieces. Mikan growled, and went to go pick up all of the glass shards one by one.

They were shattered like her cold, broken heart was.

Mikan sat down on her knee's and cursed under her breath as she started to pick up the small shards and then threw each one into her tiny waste basket, but one piece of glass slipped and sharply cut her finger, and she gasped, biting her lower lip and then growling. Then, someone suddnely grabbed her finger, and put it in their mouth to numb the pain.

Mikan looked up and saw Natsume, sitting at the window ledge as she gasped, and backed away in both shock, and fright.

"Hyuuga! What the hell are you doing here!? Get out, gte out now!" Mikan screamed, holding onto her finger as Natsume stared at her. He then climbed into the room and looked at the state she was in as she stared at him, her eyes wide with shock.

"Mikan... I-I came to say... I'm sorry. Mikan, I still..." Natsume was suddenly slapped across the face by an extremely angry Sakura female, who glared at him as he stood there, one cheek burning as she stood in front of him, her eyes cold and un-caring.

"Get out... Now! Never, ever come in here again! I got the message 6 years ago when you said that nothing was my choice and when you told me to get out! It was like telling me to get out of your life! Now get this message, you bastard. Get out, and never come near me AGAIN!" Mikan screeched, and she grabbed him by the collar, suddenly, and forcefully, dragging him out of her room and throwing him into the halls as he fell on the floor, and then she locked her door shut and her windows. Mikan then started to punch her pillow through frustration.

Natsume sat in the hallways outside her dorm room, listtening to her angry screams. Natsume knew she didn't cry anymore, but he knew that her tears would soon come, one day. They were trapped inside her. He slowly stood up, and sighed.

"Mikan... Don't you remember? You should _never_ drown in your tears." Natsume whispered to himself as he walked away, no one knew what that meant, not even Natsume did, but, Mikan would have to find out for herself. She would have to find out one day all on her own, if she wanted Natsume to be with her...

End Chapter Two 

Yes... Poor Mikan and Natsume, she was so heart broken, I udnerstand her feelings. Ok, review if you want to. But the title has something to do with the story, it is revealed in the end of it all. I never finished this story, but if I put it up for the world to see, I might be able to finish it, after all... Hopefully.

_**Enjoy life! Love Blue -Niagra**_

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	3. The Pervert

So, this is very emo and suicidal. The whole thing is very emotional, I think. Please, read and review, and I will make another story after this, promise hehe.

Mikan's depressed and Natsume is trying to save her from Darkness that she is now encased in. She looks and acts different. Extremely OC in this, everyone, sorry!

Me: ... is depressed

Mikan: ... even more so depressed

Me: ... holds up notepad

Notepad: DISCLAIMED! I DO NOT OWN GAKUEN ALICE...

Me: ...

**Don't Drown in your Tears**

**Three: The Pervert...**

Mikan was walking steadily down the halls with a fast, steady pace while her long hair swayed across her shoulders in it's side pony. Her long, black skirt swayed and swished around her legs while her cold, brown eyes focused on what was ahead of her, and her hands were clenched into tight fists by her sides, hanging there.As she walked, someone else rounded the corner, and the two suddenly bumped into each other.

The two people both fell onto the hard ground in a rather awkward position. Mikan was underneath the lad, and it just so happened to be Natsume Hyuuga, the boy she both detested, and unknowingly, loved. Mikan threw him her coldest glare as he smirked down at her.

"Hey, wasn't it you always on the top in the past? Looks like the tables have turned, but, some things will never die, you're still clumsy." Natsume said, then felt himself being shoved into the wall, hard, by an angry Mikan.

"Eurgh! Don't you dare touch me, you twisted freak! Disgusting! I swear you bumped into me deliberately and as always, you tried to look up my skirt! What kind of a sick pervert are you!? Just because you have returned doesn't mean that I'll _bow_ to you and become your toy! Piss off now, before I hurl from looking at your face!" Mikan snapped, stomping off, her teeth grinding together as she walked angrly. Natsume was in complete shock, she still wasn't showing any sign of emotion, at all. She still wouldn't change from her state.

"Here, let me help you up." came a small voice that belonged to an elementry kid, Natsume thought, and he looked up, staring into the kids eyes, and was suprised to see the small, 9 year old boy who had silver hair and large, teal coloured eyes that gave him a feminine complexion. Youichi Hijiri. Natsume's little 'brother'

"Youichi! Is that... Is thet really you?" Natsume asked the kid as Youichi nodded and then looked back over his shoulder at the walking Mikan, who could be seen in the distance. She was kicking people or trying to bite them because they were in her way. The boy sighed sadly, then stared at Natsume with sad eyes.

"Natsume... I missed you alot, but there is no time for hugs and kisses right now. I presume you know why big sister is in such a state, and why she was like this for so long, am I correct?" Youichi asked his brother as Natsume nodded sadly, and he saw Youichi turn his gaze to the ground rather sadly, and he heard the child sigh.

"Ever since that day that she had confessed to you, and you hurt her in return... Mikan almost rejected everyone. She rejected Yuu, Nonoko, Anna... More. She even rejected me. That hurt, it hurt me really badly. I was still only a baby at that point of time, but luckily, Auntie Haotaru explained everything to me..." Youichi said, recalling that day very clearly...

**Flashback**

_"Mikan! Hold my hand!"Youichi cried as Mikan looked down at the boy, then quickly turned away and coldly walked off briskly as Youichi watched her, holding out his hand as she went awya, his eyes brimming with silver tears..._

_"W-Why is big sissy doing this!? Why is she ignoring me!" cried the young boy Youichi as Hotaru embraced him tightly and warmly, seating him on her lap as he sobbed into her chest and Hotaru sighed ever so sadly, then, she started to explain to the child,_

_"Youichi, Mikan isn't very happy right now. Your big brother rejected her very badly and big sissy can' cope well. She's still young, but very ill. So, promise me that you will wait for the day that big sissy smiles again, promise?" Hotaru whispered as Youichi stared at her, then slowly nodded and hiccuped, hugging his 'auntie', nodding into her chest._

_"Yes, I promise..." he sniffed, the tears soon dissolving..._

**End Flashback**

Natsume stared at Youichi as their hair blew gently in the silent breeze, and Youichi sighed , shaking his head lightly.

"I will keep my promise, and I want to wait until the day that I see her smile again... Natsume, I have been rejected already by my biological parents, but, I don't want to be rejected by big sissy forever! I love her like she was my real sister, maybe real mommy... And, I know you love her too, deep down. I just... I just want to see her... smile again." Youichi whispered as Natsume stared down at the young boy, and then Youichi started to walk off, tears clearly seen in his teal eyes, while Natsume stood there, staring...

Youichi returned to Hotaru Imai's labratory, and fell into her arms as he started to cry uncontrollably, shaking his head as Hotaru stroked his hair.

"Shh... Youichi, don't cry. It will all turn out okay, shh..." Hotaru mumbled as the young demon summoner sobbed and sobbed.

"B-But, what if my big sister n-never smiles again! I-I don't want to see her unhappy for the rest of her life!" Youichi wailed, clutching onto her shirt as Hotaru pulled him into their embrace closer and tears formed around her eyes as she shook her head, bursting into tears, also.

"Don't say that! Mikan will smile again! She will! She has to, Mikan has to! She can not stay unhappy or die unhappy, I forbid it!" Hotaru cried as she hugged Youichi tighter while Natsume and Ruka watched from the doorway, and Natsume took one last glance before turning around and walking off, hiding the tears in his eyes that he wanted to shed...

**Central Town**

Mikan Sakura was currently in Central Town, looking for some new black nail varnish, red lipstick and some eye liner, she was obviously running low on it, too. Mikan had found allt he make-up she needed and bought it so that she could leave the shop quickly beforee anyone could start to point and call her 'The Blood Thirsty Vampire' yet again. Mikan was so sick of that name, so what if she bit people? She barely drew blood let alone left teeth marks on their stupid skin.

"Hey, heads up!" yelled some third year students, jeering as a cake came flying at Mikan, she didn't need to turn her head to create a force field to nullify herself at all. She stood there, staring at a tree. mikan was already mastering her skills and already knew how to protect herself, other peple and objects. The cake suddenly bounced back to the gang of boys and landed splat on the tallest boys face. Mikan glared at him as he yelled his abuse at her.

"You fucking bitch what was that for!?" yelled the boy as Mikan turned to glare at him iwht hazel eyes,

"That's what a bastard like you gets for aiming that damned thing at me! Next time, the thing that will be in your face is a brick!" snapped Mikan, walking off angrily as the boys ttried to help their leader, Mikan muttered under her breath as she scanned the area for a quiet place to sit, and she found a lone Sakura tree and sat under it's shaded leaves, ready to rest and paint her nails black.

But unbeknown to the beautiful brunette, a certain fire wielder was also sitting under the same tree on the other side, and he knew she was there, but she didn't know _he_ was there.

"Hey, Mikan." said the all to familiar voice as he turned to stare at her, and she jumped, then turned to see who it was and scowled when she saw the raven haired stunner.

"Oh... It's you, the pervert guy. What were you trying to do, give me a damned heart attack as payment!? Or, if you came to look up my skirt, which is likely, sorry to spoil your fun but I am not a slut, thanks. You freak." hissed the woman as she stood up and started to walk away , but Natsume ran after her, and, even Mikan knew she was faster.

"Mikan, don't act so stubborn... M-Mikan! Oi, Polka-dots! Listen to a person when they are talking to you!" Natsume suddnely snapped, and Mikan stopped, he had used that old nickname on her that she dreaded and loathed, but she felt her stomach lift a little, but she ignored that stupid feeling and turned to glare daggers.

"WHAT!?" Mikan suddenly screeched, deafening everyone withing 10 meters, her angry eyes blazing fire red as Natsume took one slow and careful step back, which he knew was wise, then he gulped and cleared his throat.

"Er... I only wanted to ask how you were and to talk to you. I mean, you're always locked away in your room and..." Natsume started to say, but Mikan pushed him away from her coldly a nd stamped on his foot, hard. Mikan didn't like talking. In fact, she _hated_ it. Especially when she had to talk to Natsume Hyuuga, of all people!

"You know, I never knew what I did in my room was _your_ business! If I stay locked up in there, then I do! Don't you dare try and stick your nose into my life, Hyuuga, because you aren't a part of it! Now leave me alone, for like, another million years!" Mikan yelled, stomping off once more as Natsume went after her, his foot hurting.

"Wait, Mika-an!" Natsume yelled, when he suddenly tripped on a stone and was about to fall, so he quickly grabbed onto the nearest thing to steady himself, but he grabbed onto Mikan, and she fell too, unluckily, and she screamed. They both fell into the large fountain in the centre of central town, and people were crowding around it, and the two fell into the water, head first.

Soon a loud splash was heard and Natsume's head rose to the surface and soon Mikan's followed, coughing and spluttering with her face caked in ruined black eyeliner and mascara, it ran down her cheeks as her hair stayed plastered to her head and her fringe covered her eyes. Natsume looked horrified at what had happened. He was clearly sorry.

2Shit, Mikan! I'm so sorry! Are you okay..."Natsume was soon shut up whn Mikan shoved his head abck down into the water, attempting to drown him, and she soon climbed out, dripping wet and very angry as Natsume submerged from under the water, gasping for air.

"No thanks to you! Hyuuga, you are so annoying! Thanks to you, I have been _humiliated_ in this stupid town! I am wet and now I have a cold! My make-up is a disgrace, my hair is ruined and my clothes are drenched! You have to be the clumsiest person in the WHOLE world and the biggest JERK! I NEVER WNAT TO SPEAK TO YOU EVER AGAIN!" she screeched as the people aroudn them started laughing as she stormed off, pushing people away angrily, while Natsume sighed, folding his arms as he sat in the water, his hair covering his eyes...

X X X

"That clumsy fool! I have never met anyone so ignorant and stupid and... URGH! How could I ever have... ARGH!" Mikan yelled, putting a pillow over her face in anger to calm herself down, and a few seconds later, she threw her pillow down and sighed, angrily.

_"Maybe you still love him..._" came a small voice inside her head, her conscience, but Mikan just merely snorted and lay down on her back, closing her eyes.

"I don't love that pig! Who would? Oh, Sumire, of course.God, I hate him! He is such a damn pervert!" Mikan yelled to her conscience and sighed. She growled, starting to open her eyes, punching and trying, (I say trying) to rip her pillow in half.

_"You like him... You fell in love with him and his perverted ways. You can't help who you fall in love with, mikan...I_ her conscience whispered in her ear, and Mikan suddnely started screaming, **loudly**. She didn't like it, not one bit. She hated her conscience, she hated Natsume. She had no heart any longer, so, how could she possibly love someone?

She went to her drawer and took out a pair of scissors, and put them over her scarred wrists.

"Shut up! Shut up Shut up! If you don't leaveme alone then I'll kill myself! Then I'll be happy!" Mikan yelled, and slashed her wrists, gritting her teeth. The fresh blood hit the floor, staining it permanently. Then she threw the scissors down and went to lay on her bed, tired, and angry...

End Chapter Three 

How was this chapter? Not very nice, the cutting bit I could NOT feel my fingers, eurgh... I am NOT good with blood yet im good at writing horror. Review if you wish to, just tell me what you think.

_**Love Blue -Niagra**_

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	4. New Alice girl, Risa

Suicidal Mikan... Oh My Gosh... I guess some people really don't like angst at all much for Gakuen Alice... I don't have many reviews... Meh, I don't care, it's better than 0... Right? Nah, as long as I write, I'm happy... But, I have written worse angst, people, like, when I was ready to kill myself due to problems in life...

Ok... Have fun reading... Tragic... I tell you...

Me: Disclaimed.

I do not own Gakuen Alice... Sadly, mehe.

**Don't Drown in Your Tears**

**Four: New Alice girl, Risa...**

It was their Chemistry class in room B for the 16 year old students, and Mikan Sakura was working on her own again, because she had just shoved Natsume away like before, and then again he was skipping classes just like he used to. Mikan was currently adding some red substance to her green coloured liquid, it was true, Mikan had become quite good at her Chemistry class, although she was always spilling her finished work on another students, on purpose.  
Mainly Sumire Shoda.

Jinno was their substitue teacher half the time because Misaki was growing things. Today he was grading all of their work.

"Okay, now Mikan Sakura, I want to grade your chemical. So this time, try to bring it to the desk full and not empty, and don't 'accidentally' trip and throw it all over Ms. Shoda again, please." Jinno said as Mikan frowned, and stood up. She still detested Jinno's guts, and he disagreed with her even more nowadays since she turned into a rebel, her new attitude was not up to his standards.

"Whatever. I'll try not to." Mikan said, rolling her eyes and picking up the beaker that contained a now satisfactory pink coloured liquid. Mikan was careful not to get Sumire out of spite, and she placed the full beaker on Jinno's desk as he sighed, and then stared at it, testing it before gradingf, ticking a small list and nodding as Mikan yawned, impatient. Sumire was folding her arms and glaring in utter anger. Mikan Sakura had succeeded yet again!

"Okay, that's fine. Now go to your desk, Sakura, and be careful!" Jinno snapped at her as Mikan sighed and roughly picked up her beaker, starint to walk back to her desk, and as she walked, she heard Sumire whispering about her, so that Mikan could only just hear the comments.

"No wonder Natsume rejected her, she's a fucking gothic emo freak! Suicidal and depressing, sigh, she puts me in depression. As far as I know her social life is down the drain, she'll die with scars and no one to love. Natsume shouldn't even go near her, she's dangerous, deathly ugly and isn't meant to be alive! He is way better with me, seeing as I can give him what he wants." Sumire said in a low hiss to her friend as her friend giggled and Mikan glared at the two populars, then threw her work over Sumire without warning, and the perm-haired bitch started screaming.

"Oops." Mikan replied curtly as she stared at the bitch then glaed and shrugged as everyone gasped, Sumire's skin was comin out in red blotches, and her eyes were turning black and then murky yellow, her eyebrows were burned off permanently and there were new, fresh bald patches in her ugly hair.

"Argh! My hair, my face my CLOTHES! Mikan Sakura, you ba-rat! Now Natsume will never love me!" Sumire wailed, but once she mentioned Natsume's name outloud, Mikan grew angry and she suddenly pushed Sumire hard against the wall and slapped her, Mikan's eyes were full of rage, and maybe something else, but no one knew.

"Don't you even dare... You can talk about me all you want, you pathetic bitch! How can anyone love a heartless slag like YOU!? Natsume would never give _you_ his time of _day_. And never, I repeat, never bring that un-loving bastards name into the subject ever AGAIN!" Mikan hissed darkly, throwing off her work apron and flinging her shoulder bag over her shoulder, read to walk out of the silent classroom,until she heard Sumire's shaky, angry voice...

"And do you think anyone would love you!? A cold hearted twisted bitch who is so suicidal! No one would want you, no one!" screamed Sumire as Mikan shrugged and walked off, nothing really mattered any longer...

"So what, I have no love for anybody." Mikan hissed as she walked off, leaving everyone to try and help Sumire who was crying because she was even uglier than before...

Natsume was currently in the library, skipping all his classes and almost dieing from boredom. He had practically nothing to do and the only reason he was in the library was because he knew fan girls would attack him when the bell for next period went. Even if he was in boredom, he wouldn't go near Mikan because he knew that all she would do was push him away coldly and scream abuse at him. He hated the new Mikan. It was like she had killed his old love interest and replaced her with a colder, more bitchy woman. Natsume sighed, sitting back in his seat and tilting his hea dslightly. He looked ready to sleep, but he wasn't. He was deep in thought.

About Mikan.

Then someone passed the library window and Natsume looked up auddenly to see a girl was walking past. This wasn't Mikan, though, but she seemed curiously mysterious. Natsume shuddered as she passed and he stared at her, he sensed that she was somewhat different somehow. Her hair was long and black, swaying past her backside. Red streaks were obvious in her midnight locks and her eyes were wide awake and magnetic in their golden colour with a few blue specks dotting the iris of her eyes. She was beautiful, yet, she kinda creeped Natsume out.

Natsume had never seen this girl before, but clearly she was a 16 year old, like he was. It was evident because she was tall, had a kinda huge chest and she was wearing the uniform half his classmates wore. Who was she? Was she a transfer? Natsume seemed to not like her much, at all. She gave him this eerie kind of feeling and a chill ran down his spine whenever he looked at her. She didn't look back, but she knew he was looking, and this girl knew who he was. She smirked as she pictured him in her mind and like what she saw.

Then the mysterious student saw a figure sitting under the lone Sakura tree and once she looked at her face, she found out that the girl was Mikan Sakura, and she frowned upon that name, then forced a smile on her face. She started to walk towards the sakura tree, and gave Mikan her brightest, and fake, smile. Mikan looked up at the girl, coldness and hurt evident in her brown eyes. The girl loved to see hurt in other people's eyes but her own.

"Hello, may I sit with you if you don't mind." the raven haired girl asked ever so politely as Mikan simply shrugged and let the girl sit down, tilting her head back and breathing in the scent of the cherry blossoms. Mikan didn't look at her. She had a feeling this girl was just interfering, somehow.

"_You_ must be Mikan Sakura, am I right? Nice to meet you. I am Risa Mikota, a transfer student. i happen to be from brazil." she said suddenly as Mikan looked up, and stared at her. Who the hell was she? How would she even know Mikan's name when Mikan had never told, let alone, met her. Mikan looked kind of confused, and the Risa girl smiled.

"Oh, I confused you, sorry. I hav a rare Alice that let's me know who you are, when your birthday is, what your alice is etc when I look at you. All I do is picture you in my mind and Boom! You life history and information all on you is there, although, I only got your name." Risa said as Mikan shrugged, and gave her an awkward look, saying, 'Who the heck are you?' Risa wasn't best pleased.

"Probably because I have the alice to Nullify it." she growled as Risa smirked and looked Mikan up and down. She didn't even like the girl, one bit, but it was fun to try and befriend her. She could torture this girl, it would be her favourite pass time.

She didn't like Mikan, one bit, because she knew that the Hyuuga guy like Mikan, and Risa only liked her things on a silver platter when she wanted it. And she wanted Natsume Hyuuga.

"_She isn't even pretty... Plus it's obvious she's goth, evidently suicidal. I wonder what the hottie see's in her? She is so ugly."_ Risa thought, instantly judging Mikan, who was reading a book all about fighting and death. Risa turned away, sickened, folding her arms. She needed to play it cool. Risa had more than one alice, she grinned, and she loved both. Then she turned back to Mikan and smiled sweetly, so sweet it disgusted Mikan.

"Hey, now that we have introduced ourselves," Risa said, grinning toothily as Mikan stared at her, more like Risa introduced them both, "Let's be _good_ friends" You're so pretty and you are obviously a kind, caring and gentle..." Mikan knew the girl was lieing through her pearly white teeth, and she glared at her and stood up, staring at Risa who was secretly punching Mikan's face inside her head.

"Whatever. Just stop smiling like the fake you are, I'm kinda recieving a headache, and please, cut the sweet talk, I'm in no mood today. I can see right through you, little girl." Mikan said grouchily as she stalked off, her long hair blowing in the wind as Risa stared at the brisk Mikan, then stood up and oput her hands on her hips, pouting. She didn't look very pretty. (Risa)

"So... The gothic bitch is smarter than I thought. Yucky, who would like that ugly duckling? I have to get rid of her, so that Natsume has _me_. I'll make her sad or... I'm gonna make a plan." she grinned, saying everything to herself as she ran off in the direction of the dormitry building to find her new room, which she shared with her twin sister...

Mikan sat under another Sakura tree, writing up some homework, undisturbed because everyone else was in their Math classes, and Mikan had decided to finish the homework from a month before. Mikan soon put her pen down and stared at the work in her scrawly writing, and she then stuffed it into her shoulder bag. She sat back, her hands behind her head. Mikan closed her eyes, breathing in deeply.

It was breezy and quiet, just how Mikan liked it. She detested noise, now. Mikan sighed and lay back, resting her eyes when someone started to speak from behind the tree with their manly voice.

"Nice time to sleep, although, most people would be in lessons, why aren't you?" asked a certain boys voice, and Mikan opened her eyes, turning to stare at Natsume, and she glared coldly, he just simply stared ta her and Mikan turned away in disgust, folding her thin arms.

"You're a fine one to talk, bastard. And next time, don't sneak up on me! Can't you just, leave me alone And I thought I specifically told you to never talk to me again after making me fall into that stupid fountain, whilst publicly humiliating me." Mikan snapped as Natsume recoiled, looking deeply sad. The problem was, he couldn't leave Mikan alone. She was just too damn pretty, he thought, mentally.

"I said I was sorry! Mikan, it was a fucking accident. Can't you just act normal for once and smile! You know how much I liked your smile, no, _loved_ your smile. Show me your smile." Natsume cried, pleading as Mikan's eyes widened suddenly and stared into space unknowingly, her cheeks suddenly burning as she felt a slight twist in her stomach, a blush threatening her pale face. She used to feel like that back when she loved Natsume...

But Mikan instanly snapped out of it, and shook her head vigorously. Mikan would not give in, yet. She would _never_ give in to him. He had hurt her so much in the past, so now, it was payback time.  
She glared at him ever so coldly.

"Why would I smile for _you_. Bastard, you are an even bigger jerk than before!" she snapped, and walked away hurridly. Why, why was she starting to _like_ Natsume Hyuuga all over again? After what he had done to her...

End Chapter Four 

Ooooh... Mikan loves him still, it was actually noticible through when she threw the chemical over Sumire's head. Review if you wanna, and sorry for the ones I made cry, but, it kinda gets worse as it goes through chapter after chapter... Have a nice day...

_**Love Blue -Niagra**_

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	5. Dangerous Games

Depressing... I made someone cry... Why? This story isn't the happiest, but, I can write darker if I wanted to... Please, enjoy the next chapter...

Me: ... socially depressed

Mikan: depressed

Natsume: Disclaimed

Me: I do not own

Mikan: Gakuen Alice...

Me: mournful

**Don't Drown in your Tears**

**Five: Dangerous Games**

"Today class, we have a new student. Risa Mikota, who has the alice of knowing ones information. I hope you make her feel welcome! Risa, let's find you a seat to go to... erm.." Narumi looked at everyone who was seated. All the guys thought the transfer was a hot babe, and wanted her next t them. Risa grinned, she loved being adored, and she stared at natsume, licking her lips, then caught sight of Mikan, who sat beside Natsume Hyuuga. She gritted her teeth and growled.

_"That ugly duckling is in the seat beside my precious Natsume... I NEED that seat, you damned bitch!" _she snapped inside her head, then stopped scowling because she didn't want to ruin her complexion, and fixed her most beautiful smile upon her face, and all the boys melted as the girls glared at her, green with envy. Risa put her hands behind her back, then pointed towards Natsume and smirked to Narumi, sweetly.

"I want to sit beside that boy, Narumi-sensai." she asked sweetly as Narumi stared in the direction of her pointing finger, then shook his head as Mikan looked up and saw where that girl was pointing. She wanted to kick her, seriously.

"B-But, Risa, Mikan Sakura sits there, and bsides, I can't just move her because you want to sit there." said the helpless teacher as Mikan stood up, any excuse to move. The last seat to go to was Hotaru, so, Mikan hardly cared a bit, she swung her bag over her shoulde,r to everyone's suprise, and left the seat as Natsume watched her. Why did she have to move, he mentally asked her in his head, oh yeah, she hated him.

"I don't care if she has my seat, Narumi. She can suck up to the bastard all she wants. He's yours." she hissed towards Risa who just grinned, this would be easy to get Natsume, seeingas Mikan hated his guts. She didn't see any problem at all, ao she just smiled at Mikan, and giggled irritably. Mikan growled. How stupid of Risa to giggle like she was, well, _dense!!!_

"Thanks Sakura, but I could have had the seat even if you never moved, seeing as I am now Natsume Hyuuga's love interest, well, soon to be." hissed the raven and crimson haired girl into Mikan's ear as they passed and Mikan smirked, possibly the first smile anyone had ever seen on her un-emotional face since that incident 6 years ago. Mikan chuckled, glaring at Risa who glared at her, but still had that sweet smile upon her face.

"Soon to be? Oh, a heartless bastard like him won't want anything to do with a fake little girl like you." Mikan said, making her voice heard through the class as she went to her seat, and Risa glared at her, snarling and kicking Mikan in her mind. But she quickly straightened her posteur and replaced the smile on her face, walking towards her desk, giggling as she sat next to Natsume, and pursed her lips, then leant close to him. Sumire cried, she had no competition with the girl, she knew. Risa knew, she knew she was better than everyone else. That was what she thought, though.

"Hi, Natsume. Wanna go out sometime?" she asked in a caramel sweet voice as he stared at her, then turned his attention towards Mikan. Inside, the girl seethed, and she wanted to kill Mikan for being there. She wanted the girl dead. But she hid her jealousy well, and tried to focus on getting Natsume.

Mikan was aware of the gaze Natsume was giving her, and it sent chills up her spine, not chills of fright of detest, chills of... Well, fear and lust rolled into one. She was still trying to hate him, after what he did. Hotaru watched Mikan, who had closed her eyes tightly and she saw the girl slightly shiver. Were pieces of the ice over her best friends heart finally starting to crack? She sorly hoped so, because then, she and Youichi could see Mikan's smile again, and they could be happy, like old times.

Mikan stayed in her position the whole lesson, ignoring Natsume's stares and Risa's horrible stares, too. She knew that the Risa girl was not to be trusted, and she knew the sweetness was a whole fake. That girl would only be sweet to people she thought worthwhile. Mikan already hated the girl so much, and she didn't know that Natsume agreed with her, alot.

Once the loud bell rang, Mikan was the first outside, with Risa following suit, and Natsume just after the annoying girl who was grinning and trying to convince him to date her. Mikan growled and clenched her fist tightly, why did Natsume dating someone affect her so much? She let her hand go from the fist, and walked faster as Risa tried to persuade the Hyuuga heir to go out with her and marry him.

"Dammit, girl, I said no! I don't have any interest in you!" he snapped suddenly as Risa stared at him, and glared sourly, pouting as he glared at her, he noticed as she pouted, she looked uglier, like her nature, and she then smirked, and hugged him tightly, leaning towards his ear to whisper in it, he shivered from her whisper as she spoke to him. She _did_ freak him out.

"Is it because of that Sakura girl? Is it because that freak has your interest? Whatever it is, I will have you, Natsume Hyuuga, if I have to kill her, I will." she hissed coldly, then pulled away and walked off as he stood there, in the empty halls while she walked off, smirking to herself. If she had to kill Mikan Sakura to get Natsume Hyuuga, she would. No doubt about it...

Mikan sat down under the blooming Sakura Tree, reading a book on Karate, in the peaceful grounds as she sighed. Most people were eating lunch. Mikan barely ate, only ever taking a nibble from one burger or some of Hotaru's food and being content with only a bite of something. That satisfied her enough. Candy she detested and she just had such a small appetite.

She knew Natsume had called her fat, that had annoyed her, alot, so, she starved herself of food. Those thoughts of him labeling her as a fat girl was so... Shallow. She wanted to always show him she could be stick thin, like Sumire Shoda was, but Mikan soon realised she was too thin, but didn't stop. Hotaru had noticed and tried to make her eat, but, Mikan wouldn't eat. At all.

Natsume also noticed how tall and skinny she had become. It did worry him. He then saw Mikan sitting under the Sakura tree, and walked towards her, then, saw that she was reading, on Karate. She would never had read that when they were younger. He continued to pace towards her, and Mikan felt the presence of someone and looked up, her glare alreayd placed on her scornful face, and Natsume stopped before he got any closer, and tried to give Mikan a small, but handsome, smile. She didn't even lower the glare she wore.

"What the heck do you want today, bastard?" she hissed as he stared at her, already, he was used to his new nickname she loved to call him. Mikan glared at him, she somehow knew he wouldn't leave, yet. If she kicked his ass he would obviously leave, but, she wouldn't do that, yet, she thought to herself.

Why the heck was she stalling time? He stared at her, and sighed, then stepped forward a little as she hardened her glare and growled slightly. That didn't faze him, he kept walking towards her.

"Mikan... Why are you like this?" he asked her, and Mikan stared at him, and then turned away as he watched her and she sighed, then shrugged, not daring to stare at him.

"You idiot... People change, especially when you hurt them." she mumbled, it was so low he couldn't hear her whisper, and she stood up, walking away, her head hung low with her fringe covering her eyes as he watched her walk away, yet again, he hadn't stopped her. He stared at her walking away as Risa watched them and scowled, thank goodness Mikan was walking away. She was glad the emo girl was gone. But as Mikan walked away, she couldn't help but think of Natsume, and, tears threatened her hazel eyes as she stopped, and let her book drop to the floor with a small thud as she stood there, her hand shaking.

"_Baka... Don't you know, a person would change themselves, if you rejected them? If you loved them in return, they would change just to please you. Natsume... You idiot. I changed because... Because my love wasn't enough to please you. I was an idiot. No. You're an idiot." _Mikan thought to herself, and then walked off, her hair fluttering in the wind as she left the book laying on the ground, and Risa watched her, in disgust...

End Chapter Five 

There short but sweet, neh? Well, not really so sweet... Okay I just hope you liked it, I have a serious dislike of Risa but I loved the description I made for her! Hehe! She is so mean and eurgh! She wants to kill Mikan. Possibly, 13 chapters, seeing as 13 is 'supposedly' an unlucky number (tis actually my LUCKY number)

_**Love Blue -Niagra**_

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	6. Dangerous Games 2

This isn't a happy story, nor is it a fairytale. If this was a fairy tale... Mikan would be happy, not sad. Forgive me if you end up crying, but these chapters aren't the worst I can do... Please review if you want to.

Me: Disclaimed. 

Gakuen Alice, it isn't mine, if it was... Mikan would be pregnant with natsume's kid.

Nor is it my sisters, if it was, she would make Natsume and Reo gay together, it is true, luckily, she doesn't own it.

Me: Sorry if this is... Too depressing. I might change it to tragic later on in the story... Sigh...

**Don't Drown in your Tears**

**Six: Dangerous Games 2**

Everyone knew if they played a game with Natsume he would make them play with fire. And that's what Risa Mikota was doing those past couple of days, she was playing with fire, trying to gain Natsume's attention and trying to get rid of Mikan Sakura, who was stuck to the ground, Risa put it. Unknowingly to everyone, Risa had a twin sister, who stayed locked away in the dormitry they shared.

Risa and Miyako Mikota were twins, Risa the oldest by 10 seconds, and the prettier one of the two. But Miyako was colder than her sister was. She only came into the academy because she was, well, a ghost. Her alice was to turn into the dead, and she permanently stayed like that. Risa loved it, and so did her sister, because no one knew she was there unless she decided to appear, and, Miyako never went to school. She was kind of lazy with lessons, Risa knew this, but, Miyako was tough and was once her kindergarten's proclaimed 'Yankee.' Miyako was proud of that name, and always wore it upon her title.

"Miyako, that girl _really_ pisses me off. I try to be nice to her, to try and make her leave my darling Natsume alone, but no, she has to see right through me and go against my plans. Well, I would enjoy killing her, one day." snarled the ever angry Risa Mikota as her sister grinned and chuckled under her breath. She adored Risa, she wondered how she was so smart and beautiful at the same time. She was aware of her sisters evil streak. And, she loved that streak!

Miyako was the youngest, but more blood thirsty. In all their lives, Miyako was proclaimed the most dangerous. They had wealthy parents and the best school tutors. But, Miyako feighned suicide and permanently became a ghost at 14 years old, and followed Risa around who didn't mind. Miyako had killed people in the past 2 years as a ghost, and had no pity for wither of the people she killed. Mainly she killed the people who made her sister mad, or stole a guy that Risa liked.

"Then let me drown her, dearest Risa. It will be easy, I'll just shove her head down into the water for 30 minutes and then she will be gone, forver, and, you'll haev Natsume Hyuuga. Although, I don't know what you see in him." asked the ghost child, and Risa turned to glare at her sister for being so dense.

"You are so transparent, Miyako! Mikan has the damned alice to nullify! You wouldn't be able to get _close_ to her! She is so powerful! I mean even my alice can't work on her!" she snapped as Miyako stared at her sister, a little hurt, and she stared down at her hands. Yes, she was stupid, but quite smart in her own way of killing people. When she was 'alive' she always wanted to be a murder detective, but, she was the murderer, and being a ghost, no one suspected.

"But... I am transparent, literally." she whispered more to herself than Risa. Risa was always bossy and snapped alot at her twin sister, but that just made Miyako look up to her more and she idolized Risa alot. Risa smirked at her reflection in the mirror, then turned to Miyako, who stared at her, and she saw the twisted grin on Risa's face. Risa twirled around, then sat beside her ghost sister.

"I am going to make Natsume mine, and make sure that it _kills_ the Sakura bitch! What does he see in her!? Ha! She is only bones and black clothes, there is nothing nice about that girl, whereas I... I am beautiful, funny, sweet... And no one can resist me, right, Miyako?" she hissed, and Miyako looked up, and nodded, but still, she couldn't really understand why her sister _liked_ Natsume Hyuuga.

Personally, she thought he was bad news.

"Yes, but, why _him_? He is so... Weird. I mean I don't like him much, Risa, there are much nicer looking guys back in Brazil, heck, even Canada is a good place to look. Why do you have to have... That guy though?" she asked, and Risa turned to her and smirked, brushing her long locks, a hand on her hip as she pointed at her sister, and laughed, loudly.

"Because, you dimwit, he is HOT! Flaming, like his alice, but of course, a ghost like you wouldn't know hot if it burnt you up the ass. Because all you feel is coldness." she hissed, and Miyako saw she had a point there, because that's all she did feel. Never warmth. The main reason she decided to permanently stay as a ghost was because a guy she wanted to give affection to pushed her away and said she transparent and cold. So, Miyako turned ghost, and killed him first by pushing him in front of a train. Risa had laughed so hard at that one...

In the grounds sat natsume, with a manga taped to his face, and Mikan was walking towards the Sakura tree that he was under, and saw his figure laying there. She wiondered why he was there again? He always came up unexpectadly. She growled and gritted her teeth, and, she walked straight past him, but the manga slipped from his face and he watched her, sitting upright as she left.

"You're ignoring me again, polka-dots." he asked, and she stopped for a split second, clenching her fists tightly, then, walking away again, not bothering to talk to him. Natsume quickly jumped up, and ran after her, kicking grass as she walked and knew he was following her, she wouldn't stop him, of course. It was his choice.

"Can I walk with you." he asked her as she stared at him, coldly.

"If you have to, after all, it's a free country, I think. If it wasn't, you wouldn't be anywhere near me." she hissed as he blinked, and recoiled, but he just tried to smile as he stared at her, then took in a deep breath.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked after a few seconds, this, Mikan denied.

"I deny you talking to me. You should leave me alone, idiot." she hissed, and they stopped, and he turned to set his gaze on her. She was so different now, but still graceful. He looked into her hazel eyes, and saw... Hurt? Anger? Love? No, love? That wasn't love, it was... Coldness. His heart ached to see her like this. A hand lifted with his arm, and he was about to touch her face, when she suddenly slapped his hand away, and glared at him.

"What the hell do you think you are doing, you bastard! Trying to feel me up, are you!?" she suddenly screamed, and kicked him in the shins, running off and throwing a book at him that she randomly picked out from her bagg, and Natsume groaned in pain, clutching his shin as Mikan ran and ran, kicking people out of the way and yelling at them to move or she would kill them. Natsume stared after her, then looked down at the book she had thrown at him. Now he would have to return it.

He stared at the title, and sighed, Karate, like always. Well, nowadays, more like. He stood straight, despite the pain in his shin, and limped after Mikan as everyone stared at him, they wondered why he even bothered to waste his breath on the girl who wanted to be alone...

"That stupid coward! How dare he even think of touching me! How DARE he!" she snapped, and threw her school bag at the wall, the contents of the bag spilling to the floor recklessly as she kicked a pile of books and smome sharp pencils. She stared at the pencils sharp points, what if she pierced herself with one? She smirked, that would make her feel okay, wouldn't it? Pain was her escape.

Screams filled the air, she hadn't screamed so loud before, but the pencil was _too_ sharp, and she stared at her bleeding wrist she had punctured, tears forming in her eyes. Risa stood outside the dorm door that belonged to Mikan, and chuckled. She had made sure those pencils were sharp enough, since they weren't even lead. They were some pins she had made sharp and placed inside the pencils and made sure they looked like lead. Mikan, inside her room, watched the stream of blood trickle down her wrist to her palm, and drip on the floor as she watched it, wide eyed.

When was lead so... Sharp? She wondered, when someone jumped into the room and grabbed her good wrist sharply, and she was pulled towards Natsume, suddenly, as he stared at her hurt wrist and she stared into his shocked eyes. Shock? Love? Care? Mikan couldn't find them in his eyes. But, he was shocked and scared when she screamed.

"You idiot why did you do that!? What are you trying to do, kill yourself!?" he yelled, ready to cry as he stared at her scarred wrists, and pulled her closer to him. Mikan couldn't do anything, she was growing her heart, the ice was chipping, she could feel a heart beat...

Then, she found her words, and glared at him, the tears in her eyes invisible to him and evident to her as she yelled at him and tried to pull away, but his grip was too tight on her wrist as she struggled with him.

"What would you fucking care!? As far as I know, I'm not important! If I die the world will be better! There is absolutely no meaning to life, you bastard!" she cried as he stared at her, then suddenly pulled her roughly and she was brought into embrace as they stood there and she gasped, suprised at his sudden gesture, and he wrapped his arms around her tighter, making sure to not let her go.

"Life has a meaning... And you have a purpose, you just have to find it. After all these years, Mikan..." he said into her ear as she stood there, letting him embrace her, her heart raced. Why? She wondered, why did she feel so... Warm and happy? She hadn't felt that for such a long time... She wanted him to say those words, the words she had told him... "You are still an idiot." she heard him whisper, and her eyes widened, and, her heart turned back to ice again, and she shoved him against the wall, angry, her eyes blazing with fury and hatred.

He saw he hadn't melted her heart yet, and, he felt bad about it. He stared at those icy eyes and her scornful, but beautiful, face.

"Mikan..." he mumbled, but, she shut him up, slapping him across the face and then throwing him out of her window, glaring at him angrily and shaking an angry fist at him, and her eyes blazing with the fire that never even died inside her. The anger she wield was still there, he saw, he smiled, he was happy she still had the burning flame there, but the other flame? The flame of happiness? That was gone.

"YOU PERVERTED BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU CLAIM ME AS AN IDIOT! GET AWAY FROM ME, NOW! I WILL DO WHAT I WANT TO MYSELF, SO GO!!!" she screamed, and slammed her window shut as Natsume stared at her, and then got up and dusted himself off. Mikan, she was, getting warmer, he noticed, she had let him embrace her, although she hadn't returned that embrace, it meant everything to him. He smiled secretly to himself, while Risa watched from behind a tree, and hissed through her teeth.

She wasn't going to lose to Mikan, she wasn't! She growled and walked away. Next time, she hoped Mikan cut an important vein and BLED to death!

That's how cruel she was. Unknown to Risa, however, Miyako was located on a branch in a nearby, checking Natsume out, trying to look for good points. She couldn't find _any_! She hated his hair, his eyes, his personality and most of all his alice! She wanted to crush him for stealing he rsisters heart, but, if he rejected Risa, she would be allowed to kill him, that was the beauty of men breaking her sisters heart. They would die for pay back. No one suspected the pattern, yet.

Miyako swung her transparent legs in the air as she watched Mikan from her window, she liked the girl, she was so cold and evil towards other people, too bad she wanted her dead, and so did Risa. She smirked. They had to kill her through normal terms, since Miyako couldn't get her, at all, because the brat had the nullifying alice.

She smirked, then disappeared from sight because Risa would be going to their dorm, and Miyako was strictly banned from going outside, even in her human form. But Miyako rarely followed the simplest of orders, she liked to rebel. Miyako was back in the room before Risa even opened the door, and she saw her sister sitting there, looking completely bored.

"So you finally stayed in here, good, if anyone saw you, especially that Sakura girl, they would get suspicious, since we look the same." hissed Risa as Miyako grinned, and stood up, suddenly turning humand and grinning, her long blonde hair falling down to her thighs and her pearly white eyes glowed in the sunlight that was in the sky, shining through the window. The only identical thing about the sisters were their smiles and the coldness in their eyes.

"Hardly identical, since I have blonde hair, and you have black, dearest sister." she hissed, then turned into a ghost again and sat back down on the bed as Risa glared at her sister, and looked out of the window, sighing.

"Why the heck did the stupid bastard even hug that sour old bitch? She isn't as gorgeus as I am, she hasn't got a golden heart like me. The brat is stupid, I'm smart. He should just watch her die and _laugh_ as she cowers away." hissed the evil twin as Miyako watched her, she wasn't as evil as her sister, yet, she was cold and distant. She never really liked anyone. Thanks to the guy who broke her heart in two...

Mikan sat under the tree, shaded by the cherry blossoms and sighing deeply. The way Natsume held her when he pulled her into that warm, wonderful embrace... The way his hamnds held her perfectly small frame... The way he whispered in her ear...

At that thought, Mikan stood up and kicked the tree, growling, she couldn't give up on thinking about the bastard, could she? She growled even more, knowing he was watching jher, and she didn't give a flying hoot. He could watch her all he wanted, and she would beat the tree up more just to make it clear she hated him, loathed him, even. Mikan threw a fist at the tree, and she made a crack in the bark, some blood droplets sprinkling onto the bark, and her hand stayed the re firmly, then slipped, the drops of blood splattering her dress and shoes as she hung her head, and stared at the ground, clutching her fists tightly.

Natsume, to her, he was a pure idiot, she knew that, she kept saying it every night she went to sleep. She could never forget him, no matter how she tried. Mikan's hand then let go of being a fist, and it hung there, and Natsume walked towards her, and stared at her, the n picked up her hand and put it close to his heart as she stayed staring at the tree, letting him hold her hand.

She was finally warming up to him, and, she liked it, deep inside, she... _loved_ it... But, she wouldn't let love get the better of her, there was still a block of ice where her heart was supposed to be...

End Chapter Six 

Hello... Suprisingly, I am hyper as hell. But hope you enjoyed this page, Mikan is finally warming to Natsume, she doesn't obviously realise it, but hey, I threw it in for good measure. Have fun reviewing if you wanna.

_**Love Blue -Niagra**_

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	7. Get Through

Yes, Angst people... Not an overly popular thing for our dear Mikan, but someone had to turn her Emo... So, I did, a crime? Likely, but hey, sue me. Okies, I sound depressed. Yeah, I am.

Me: Disclaimed, obviously.

Risa: She owns ME! The specially, totally awesome RISA MIKOTA!

Miyako: And me, the ghost! Miyako Mikota!

Me: ... Why do I seem to have a knack for making baddies?

Risa: I am not the baddy I am the _star_ bitch, got it!

Miykao: YEAH!

Me: Oh god, not again...

**Don't Drown in your Tears**

**Seven: Get through...**

Mikan was scanning the empty halls, she was walking, but, she knew Natsume Hyuuga, the bastard, would try and pop out of nowhere. She really had it in for him, didn't she? She hated his guts, wanted to kick his ass, and wanted him dead, a little. She was gradually warming towards him, especially when he embraced her, especially when he held her hand like that when she stood there...

Mikan passed someone in the halls, and the girl gave a cheery, fake smile as she stopped and stared at Mikan, grinning from ear to ear, hands on her hips as Mikan ignored the ignorant raven haired Mikota child.

"No use ignoring me, Mikan Sakura, cos' you know one day you'll be looking _up_ to me. _Or down at me if I kill you and have my way, hehehe..._ And Natsume will be mine, and we will be the best, most beautiful couple in this damned academy!" snapped the horrendous girl as Mikan turned her head to glare at Risa, then, she smirked and folded her arms, standing a few good centimeters away from her.

"So? You can have him, although, the heartless pig is hard to reach, you might have to jump for him, you know. He doesn't have a heart, and if he did date you, it would be because he was kinda... you know, desperate, can I say?" she said curtly and smugly as Risa stared at her, mouth open. Mikan had said that to _her_, Risa Mikota, the best, (she thought) and cutest girl in the whole academy! How could Mikan say those things, easily, was Mikan's thought. It was fun to patronize the terrible elf that lay inside Risa Mikota's body.

"Oh, how _DARE_ you!" she fumed as Mikan tried to hide her half smile, and she turned around, shrugging.

"I dare, Risa Mikota, and haven't you realised I am implying something towards you. I mean, any guy would be pretty desperate to pay a chep slag like you to date them. Sorry to spill the truth, honey, but, it is the truth. Even Sumire Shoda isn't _that_ shallow. And I empasize the that." she hissed, walking away as her footsteps echoed off the wall while the girl watched her enemy walk away, she was absolutely _fuming_ with rage.

"Who does she think she is! Telling me I am a whore! Of course, she would know, the dirty little..." she snapped as Miyako floated towards her sister, appearing from the side of the wall and looking at her sister questionably.

"What's wrong now?" she asked as Risa turned to glare at her, then stalked off angrily, and Miyako followed in hot pursuit to find out what had happened, she figured it was something to do with Mikan Sakura, yet again. She sighed, that girl was just weird, she thought, and why was Risa so engrossed in stopping her from reaching Natsume? Who wanted that jerk, anyways? He wasn't so special, she thought...

Mikan briskly walked towards the Sakura tree, her bag swinging dangerously, banging against her legs and the back of her knee caps, she barely cared, she loved the pain it gave her, it was much better than happiness, she told herself mentally, it was better than affection, she scolded herself, it was better than Natsume, she thought. That stopped her, and let her bag drop to the ground as she sank against the bark of the tree. Natsume, why did he intrigue her so much? Why did he cloud her mind? Why did her heart ache when she looked at him? Why did his eyes look sad most of the time when he stared at her? Maybe he felt guilty about what he had done to her? Maybe, maybe...

"_Baka, why would he feel sorry for you? All he left you with was a bunch of random words. 'Don't drown in your tears' What is that supposed to mean? Leave him, Mikan, he doesn't want you, no one does. Love is a fake." _her conscience said to her as she stared at the sky with blank eyes, all love and care wiped clean away 6 years ago. Mikan sat alone, but not a day passed when Natsume Hyuuga happened to stop by to stare at her and try to talk to her, try to reach out to her...

"What the hell do you want today, Hyuuga, can't you see I am not in the happiest of moods." she hissed as he stared at her, and chuckled unde rhis breath as she looked up to glare at him, and he gave her a small, lonely smile.

"When have you ever been in the happiest of moods, Mikan, and I mean after the incident where I left." he asked, and she growled, angrily, "Yeah, make a joke out of it, Hyuuga, I am laughing so much, hahahaha. Get a life!" she snapped as he stared at her, and saw such hurt in her eyes, loneliness, sadness and the warmth she dearly wanted... He saw all of that, and, he wanted to give her that warmth, take away the loneliness, brush the hurt away and make the sadness turn into happiness. He sank down beside her, and picked up her wrsit. She gasped, and was ready to slap his hands away as he rolled up her shirt sleeve, and stared at the scars.

She stopped what she was going to do when she felt his fingers brush over the scars, and she felt a shiver up and down her spine, not a feared shiver, a happy one. Natsume stared at vthe scars, and sighed.

"Such ugly scars... On such a beautiful woman... Why do you do this, Mikan. It hurts me to see you scar yourself and make your arms ugly. What next? Your legs, your face? Don't do this to yourself." he whispered, cupping her face with his hands as she stared at him, she dearly wanted to cry, wanted to hold him, to kiss him... But she pushed it all back, and turned her head away, pushing his hand down and sighing. She didn't scream, or push him roughly. All she managed was a whisper.

"I am not beautiful, I realised that when I was 10 years old... Leave me alone, what do you want with a girl like me, Hyuuga. I will do what I want, if I have to. This is what people do when they are sad... My only escape is this. If I cut my face, it will be because... Because there is nothing left for me. I will cut my neck, kill myself, if it meant that..." she whispered, but, she never finished her sentence as Natsume pulled her into yet another embrace, and he let his fingers run through her hair which was down today, and he breathed in, and held her tightly, shaking his head.

"You don't have to be lonely anymore, Mikan... I'm back." he whispered as her eyes widened, but, it didn't last long, because she pushed him away, gently, and stood up, staring at him, her fists clenched.

"For how long? Because... You will leave again. Leave me alone to wither away, Natsume. It's what I want. It's what _you_ want. Don't force yourself to like me, it's not you. Go away... And leave me to die." she said, a cold edge to her voice as she walked away, leaving Natsume to look at her as she went, and he sighed, yet again, Mikan had stopped him from melting that ice, he smiled, that ice, it was getting... Warmer, wasn't it?

X-X-X

"I don't get it. What do you see in him?" Miyako asked for the 30th time that day as Risa turned to glare at her, she wanted to slap her twin so badly, but she couldn't, because Miyako was transparent. She growled and threw a book though the girl as Miyako sat there, staring at her twin, swinging her legs as Risa sat under the tree and Miyako was above her, swinging her long, transparent legs and nodding her head, watching the sun go across the sky with the damned clouds. She hated clouds.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Miyako, you stupid brat! Just because Natsume looks like that bastard guy of yours did does not mean that he is the same! Natsume is more genuine, and less of a man-whore, you dim wit!" she snarled, throwing her whole bag at Miyako, forgetting the latch was undone, and the contents fell onto her, and she coughed and growled angrily, glaring at her sister. Of course, she blamed it all on Miyako.

"Jake wasn't a manwhore, and you know it. He wasn't a bastard, either, he was sweet, he just... Didn't like me." she mumbled as Risa looked up at her and snorted, rolling her eyes with disgust. Miyako, she was seriously bugging her nowadays. Miyako was always telling her Natsume was stupid, what did she see in him? Risa knew what she wanted, Natsume was a hottie, and she wanted _him_. All to herself.

"Yes, that's why you pushed him in front of the train, because he was _sweet._ Oh, get over it, Miyako, he never liked you, no one did. You were just the stupid sister on the side while everyone got me! The pretty one! No one wanted the ugly duckling, like no one wants that Mikan!" she snapped. miyako felt something prick in her eyes, and silver tears strolled down her transparent cheeks as she stared at Risa. How could she be so cruel towards her? Never, in all her life, had Miyako cried, not once, not even when Jake rejected her. Not even when she pushed him in front of the train, she would never cry.

And now, she was.

"You know, being pretty comes with it's disadvantages, you are a really cold hearted bitch, you know that." she suddenly snapped, and Miyako ran off, turning human as Risa watched her, and smirked, she would come back, miyako always did, but this time, would she? Had Risa Mikota gone too far, yet again?...

End Chapter Seven 

Yeah, short chapter, sorry, I'm like, really tired. here in england tis 2:30am, yawns. Have fun reading? Have fun reviewing. Gitta go, bye bye people.

_**Love Blue -Niagra**_

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	8. Plan 1

Yeah I update loads... Cos' me, I'm a busy girl, it's not that I want to finish the story quickly, sometimes, I want to get it up so you don't have to wait to read it, right? Hopefully, this is 13 chapters.

And the last chapter will be sad, I warn thee of that.

Me: Disclaimed...

Natsume: Because she barely OWNS Gakuen Alice...

Me: I only own Risa... (eurgh)

Risa: hugs Natsume TEE HEE HEE

Me: THAT was a forceful giggle...

Miyako: She also owns ME! ignores Risa

**Don't Drown in your Tears**

**Eight: Plan 1**

It was a sunny day in central town, and everyone was there because half the teachers had declared it a free day for the school, Narumi was eccentric because he had ordered a new costume to wear to school and currently was skipping around Central Town in it, being jolly and everything he was. Mikan was currently under the tree, painting her nails red and black as people watched her, today she looked, calmer.

Everyone noticed this, her eyes were more wide awake, but, she still had that stormy look upon her face that showed she didn't care. Mikan finished her nails and sighed, getting out something from her bag, which freaked everyone out and they all ran. A book of curses, Mikan smirked. She was smirking more, she realised. She touched her lips, wanting to stop smirking all together, for her sake, mostly, if she started smiling again, that meant... She would be losing to Natsume Hyuuga. He would win, and take her heart again, only to break it once more. Mikan sighed, and started to read her book quietly under the tree...

She remembered what Natsume had said to her a few days before, such ugly scars... Shouldn't be seen on such a beautiful woman... She looked down at the scarred wrists, then looked away, why did she care? He didn't, it was obvious, to her, at least. Everyone else seemed to believe his lies. Mikan stared into the distance, and tried to hide away a few tears that were escaping from her large, dark eyes. They were fought back and Mikan closed her eyes, the book over her face to hide her tears. Hey, she thought, Natsume always had a manga over his face, she remembered.

Mikan sighed and rolled onto her side, she had to stop thinking of that perverted jerk, she just had to...

_"What is it today, strawberries..."_

_"Oi, Polka-Dots, get off me..."_

_"She tried to molest me..."_

_"I'm not the pervert, you are..."_

_"Mikan..."_

Mikan remembered the things he had said to her, she sighed, and closed her eyes tightly, she couldn't forget him, could she? If she had to hit her head and gain amnesia to forget him, she would be fine, right? Mikan wrapped her arms around herself, and shook her head, sniffing. He was stuck inside her head and her heart, and she could feel that ice melting away, so slowly, but gradually, her heart would be whole again...

In the middle of Central Town, Risa was attracting alot of attention, her bright smile and charms won over all the guys in the academy, the only ones who noticed the coldness inside of her were Natsume, Youichi, Koko, Ruka, Hotaru and Yuu. They didn't like her, one bit, they knew she had something against Mikan. They just didn't know why, really...

"Onii-chan that girl is weird." said the 9 year old Youichi as Natsume nodded, glaring towards the girl who was faking her happiness. She was obviously an evil old witch. She had once tried to win over Youichi, who had merely called her an ugly old hag and that the only person who could have Natsume was Mikan, who he wanted to be his 'mommy' one day, when she and Natsume were married.

Risa had _hated_ that. She had screamed inside and was stabbing Mikan _and_ Youichi in her mind. Soon, she thought, she would have to use her _other_ alice on Natsume, the one that would help her to win his heart, and to kill Mikan Sakura.

Risa grinned as she looked over at Natsume and his friends. She saw that Hotaru Imai, Mikan Sakura's claimed best friend, was glaring at her, and so was Ruka, she scowled, she never really liked Ruka Nogi _or_ Hotaru Imai, she thought Ruka was gay and that Hotaru was a stupid emo freak like Mikan was. She danced in the middle of the square, where boys ogled over her and turned to jelly when she threw smiles at them.Hotaru had no idea why Risa did that, to her, it was pathetic.

Well, Risa was pathetic, period. Up a tree, Miyako was sitting, glaring at her sister and throwing her head to the side, seeing Mikan at a far distance and she rolled her eyes, alone, again. She had no idea why. She wanted someone to at least stand up to her obnoxious sister, for once.

"Why do you have to be such a show off, Risa Mikota, you were always like that." hissed the ghost, so silently, no one heard her. No one could see her, not even Risa. Miyako had run from her, and not come back. Instead, Miyako lived down in the cellar's of the academy, but she regularly went into Risa's bedroom to mess it up, and Risa would scream the whole time, and she knew it would be Miyako, who loved to patronize her dearest sister and make her mad.

Miyako sighed as she swung her legs, she was bored, she wanted to kill someone, she wanted to kill Natsume Hyuuga, because she hated him, for making Risa turn into such a bitch, but, Risa was alreayd a bitch, she thought, but alot more bitchier when she found Natsume Hyuuga. Miyako watched as her evil twin showed off her talents and jer brilliant smile, the way she flicked her hair and laughed... She then decided, she hated Risa, her twin and her _only_ friend. No, her ex friend. Miyako had never had the chance to make friends, because everyone seemed to flock around Risa, and not her, they just pushed her away because she wasn't as pretty or tralented as Risa, she was disgusted.

"Natsume! Wanna come join me in my dance! We will look _perfect!"_ cried Risa, waving towards Natsume as he ignored her, and the boys around her asked her to dance with _them_ and not Natsume because they were alot hunkier and nicer than he was, but Risa growled inside, and snapped a pencil in half sub-conciously when Natsume ignored her so easily. She wanted his divine attention, why did he have to waste it on _Mikan Sakura._

The emo freak, the bitch, the weirdo.

Risa plastered a bright smile on her glowing face, and just shook her head at the boys, then walked towards Natsume and his friends as they sat there, ignoring Risa as she walked up to them, and shoved Koko away, sitting next to Natsume and smiling, her arms looped around his neck as she put her head on his shoulder.

"Say, Natsume, wanna go on that date yet? No interferences." said the cunning girl as Natsume turned to look at her, and shoved her away, roughly. He wasn't really making friends with her fan club, to say the least, he was gaining a few more enemies than normal, but he didn't care. the weird girl freaked him out alot!

"I thought I told you to back off! I don't like you!" he snapped as she stared at him, then smirked and stood up, grinning from ear to ear.

"You will if I force you to, my dear. I won't lose you. I will never lose you to that little slut, Mikan Sakura." she hissed, and grinned as Natsume stared at her, and suddenly, someone ran towards Risa, and...

_SLAP!!!_

"Don't you _dare_ say anything like that about Mikan! She isn't the slut here, you are! Why do you hate her, eh? Because she isn't as cold and fucking bitchy as you!?" yelled Hotaru as everyone stared at her, shocked. Hotaru had never been so angry before, usually, the inventor was silent and calm, secluded, that's how she liked it, but now, she was angry, and, as everyone could see, she was crying. Risa smirked, and whispered in her ear.

"So, the emo friend finally stands up for herself, well, Natsume _will_ be mine, and your slutty friend will get what she deserves, bitch. Hmph, there's one thing you and your friend don't share, you actually can cry, she just has a black heart, because she is an emoic bitch who should **die!**" she hissed darkly and cruelly as Hotaru gasped, her eyes wide, and Risa walked away, waving to Natsume, and the other boys who admired her. Natsume ignored her, but, he saw that Hotaru was shaking, and walked towards her, and Ruka quickly followed suit, and he held onto her shoulders as she stood there, wide eyed.

She rememebered what Risa had said...

_"If you tell anyone what I just said, I promise to personally visit that kid of yours, Youichi, was it, and slit his throat for him so that he can't __**ever**__ see your stupid friend smile again, and Ruka will get the same treatment, you fucking whore." _Risa had hissed in her ear, and Hotaru had shook at that, the girl... Risa Mikota, was a bitch, no, she was beyond bitchy, she was so... Blood thirsty and horrible. Hotaru couldn't believe she had said those things...

"Hotaru, are you okay?" asked Ruka, and the girl snapped out of her thoughts, and gave him a shaky nod, then a small smile and she let Ruka hold onto her shoulders tightly, and they helped nher to stand as she sighed, trying not to choke as Ruka and Natsume stared at her, curiously, she looked at the two very concerned faces, and gave them another small and weak smile.

"I-I'm sorry, I just don't feel well. I need to go to the medical wing, you don't have to follow, you two." she said quietly, and walked off as they watched her, something was up, and they knew that it was something about what Risa had said when no one but Natsume and Ruka noticed. They wondered what it was, but, it must have been a harsh threat, they didn't know how harsh it was...

"Hi, Mikan." came a sly voice as Mikan looked up, and saw a grinning Risa walking towards her, and she shrugged, turning back to her book. Risa glared at her, and kicked it from her hands, making Mikan stand up and pushing her against the tree, glaring at Mikan, no grin or anything, an angry frown as Mikan stared at her, her eyes showing no emotion as Risa lifted a hand, ready to punch her or slap the girl.

"Don't fucking ignore me, I am done playing with you. Listen to me, you emo bitch, I hate you, and you hate me, but, that won't stop Natsume from coming into _my_ arms. He will be mine, and not yours, so leave off him you little slut. I won't lose to you. So just cut yourself and slit a vein, and die! No one wants you hear, no one cares if you bleed to death, all we want is to see your carcass on your floor, a pool of blood around you." hissed the dark girl as Mikan stared at her, then pushed her away, and kicked Risa so she fell.

"Shut up, you skank, don't you think I am aware of that. Tch, you're so stupid, you can have Natsume Hyuuga if you want him, you two are _perfect_ for each other." she said snidely as Risa glared at her from the ground, then kicked Mikan in the stomach, and Mikan doubled over as she grinned, in a twisted way like the witch she was.

"Shut up, Sakura, if you're implying something say it to my face, you little cheap ass slut. I will win him, and in the end, you will be dead. So die now and make life easier for me, oh, and here's a present from me, you little bitch!" snapped Risa, and kicked Mikan hard in the stomach again, so that she was coughing up blood, and then she yanked Mikan's hair, and threw her against the tree, grinning and punching her in the face as Miyako watched it all, and Mikan coughed up even more blood as her nose started to bleed. Risa was satisfied.

"I could do worse, you little whore." she hissed, and let her go, walking off and smiling happily, oh, she loved life, but, for how long...

Natsume walked towards the sakura tree, and saw someone there, and saw that she was coughing up blood and they were shivering, he gasped, and ran towards Mikan, who saw him, and put her hands over her nose and mouth so he couldn't see, and try to 'woo' her over again.

"Mikan, what's wrong? Why were you coughing up blood?" he asked her, concerned as he kneeled beside her, trying to pry her hands from her mouth as she shook her head, not letting go and pulling away from him, kicking at him but still trying not to hurt him. Natsume stared ather, the sadness in his eyes were clear, and she saw it. He stared at her, and her hands started to slip.

"Nothing, it's nothing! Just leave me alone, Natusme!" she cried, her voice was muffled by her hands and by the blood in her mouth, she coughed more, and blood trickled down her hands and wrists, and he saw it, and yanked her hands away, and she coughed even more, the blood spilling down her school uniform as he looked in horror, then passed her a handkerchief, and stared at her as she coughed and coughed, her nose also bleeding. What happened to her.

"Mikan what happened, tell me. I'm worried." he whispered as Mikan shook her head, and stared at him with cold and sad eyes. He was holding one of her blood stained hands, he didn't care. mikan took her hand away from his and held it, shivering.

"Nothing happened. Just leave me alone, you jerk..." she mumbled, and Natsume stared at her, and once she stopped coughing up blood, he sighed. At least she was ok. He didn't want anything to happen to her. Mikan stood up, and was ready to walk away, when he grabbed her arm.

"Mikan... I love you." he said, and her eyes grew wide. Why did he say that? She turned to him, and then glared after a few seconds, shaking her head.

"You idiot, No one can love me. Go away, you bastard." she hissed, and tried to pull away, but Natsume pulled her back, and crashed his lips against hers as her eyes widened, and he kissed her right there, as Miyako watched, and grinned...

End Chapter Eight 

Yes... He kissed her! Finally! What will her reaction be to it? Find out in the next chapter! Adios Amigos! Love you all!

_**I'm chirpy... Love Blue -Niagra!**_

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	9. Rejecting everything

Yes... Next chapter... Hope you enjoyed the last one... I hate Risa now, it is official...

Review at your own risk...

Me: Disclaimed

Natsume: Due to the fact she only nowns the bitch sisters...

Risa: clings to Natsume and coos

Mikan: coughs and goes to her room

Me: Disclaimed yet again, man, I hate Risa, she is so bitchy and mean...

Risa: glares

**Don't Drown in your Tears**

**Nine: Rejecting everything...**

The kiss seemed to last forever to Mikan, he pulled her closer as her eyes widened, then, slowly started to close by their-selves, he pulled her in even closer as a blush rose to her cheeks, and his hand went to the back of her neck as he stroked her hair. Mikan couldn't help it, she loved the kiss, it was so loving, and caring and passionate... Mikan wanted it to go on forever...

Her heart, the ice was melting, quickly, her arms slinked around his neck as they kissed deeper and she sighed, feeling a small smile tug at her lips, was this what happiness felt like? She hadn't felt it for so long...

But her eyes shot open and she pushed him away, so that his back went against the tree and she wiped her mouth, glaring at him with pure disgust as he stared at her, and she growled, curling her hands into fists and getting into a fighting stance, her long hair cascading about her shoulders and face.

"You perverted bastards! What are you trying to do, poison me, eh!? Well, get a life, you sick poeadophile! I don't like you, get it into your head! I hate you, Hyuuga, I hate you!" she snapped, and ran off, tears in her eyes, streaming down her cheeks as Natsume watched her, sitting on the ground as she left. Miyako stared at Mikan and sighed, if Mikan hadn't resisted, Risa would have finally backed off and left Natsume and Mikan alone, but then again, Risa would try and murder Mikan after that. She knew it, so, was it best to have Natsume available?

She hoped not, she didn't really want Mikan to get hurt, she knew that Mikan had been treated the same way she did when she was a young girl, but, Mikan had taken it more seriously, although, Mikan loved Natsume enough not to kill him...

Mikan started throwing things out of her window, screaming and yelling abuse as she smashed vases and shredded her pillows until all the feathers covered the floors. She wanted to die, she wanted Natsume to leave, she wanted to be alone, she didn't want anymore pain in her heart, she didn't want to cry anymore, she wanted to reject everything, so, she would.

"AAARGH!" she screamed, and threw her knife at the wall, and it stuck there, her scissors were stabbed into her bed and she had torn everything that was paper, including her diary. It was blood stained. She cared no more. The tears spilled down her face as she stared at her room, and she fell to her knee's, crying as the tears spilled from her cheeks, and her arms hung at her side, and she stared at the wall, crying.

"N-Natsume... Y-You idiot... I h-hate you... N-Natsume..." she cried, sniffing as her tears made a puddle at her knee's, and suddenly she flung her head back, crying and screaming loudly as her hands punched the floor and she let her knuckles bleed. Why did happiness and love hurt her? Why? It was just stupid, she told herself, but when Natsume rejected her, wasn't she hurt?

Love hurt, Mikan sniffed, and cried. She wanted to escape everything, reject it, she wanted to die. She wanted to die so much... She wailed as she cried. Risa heard from down the halls, smirking, she didn't care, she wanted the bitch to die, and she would try her best to help Mikan along the way. Mikan was crying hard, she just hoped _her_ Natsume wouldn't run to the stupid girl, she hoped Natsume would sweep her off her feet, and tell her he loved her.

But she knew that would never happen with Mikan Sakura in the way, and she growled at the thought of Mikan obtaining Natsume, and hugging him, kissing him... Although, she didn't know Natsume had already connected his mouth with Ms. Sakura's. Mikan had to admit to herself, it was nice, but, she was too stubborn to let it get to her melting heart...

She was growing to love him, again... And, Mikan wanted to love him, more than anything, deep in her heart, but she couldn't follow her heart, yet, she was listening to her head. Mikan sighed as she sobbed, then stopped and stared at her reflection in a whole mirror, and, she broke it, shattering the pieces. Something as ugly as her face should never be seen in a mirror, right? But she didn't know she was pretty. She thought she was disgusting and un-loved. he thought no one wanted her.

That wasn't true, though, Natsume wanted her, so much, he loved her more than the world. Mikan just had a hrd time realising it. She didn't want to know the truth, she hated truth. She stopped crying and stared at the broken pieces of her mirror on the floor, last time she had done that, Natsume healed her finger a little. She blushed, but shook her head, and let the tears fall to the floor before she dried her eyes, and stood up, straight, lifting her arms and sighing. Was she changing?...

The next morning in class, Mikan was late, and she was normally never late since she changed. Then she walked in, and everyone stared at her just as the bell went. Mikan rushed towards her seat, her fringe covering her eyes as Risa's eyes widened and she growled. Mikan sat there, staring outside the window as Natsume watched her, she was changing, and everyone knew it.

That day, Mikan wore no make up, and, her hair was in pigtails, tied with black ribbon, but she still wore her uniform how she normally would, but everyone noticed she was... warmer. Mikan stared outside the window as in skipped Narumi, and stopped when he saw Mikan, and almost wailed with pride until she threw him a death glare. Nope, she hadn't changed much, yet.

Mikan then turned her gaze back to the window, and sighed. Natsume, was he changing her? She put her hair in those dopey pigtails, and forbid herself to wear make-up, what was he doing to her? Her heart thumped against her chest, why did she want to blush and smile when she thought of Natsume? Why did she think about that kiss? Why was this... Happening to her?

Mikan shook her head, but, Risa saw this and clenched her fist, growling as Mikan sighed and blushed, staring outside the window. Why did that girl blush? She knew something was happening to Mikan, and, she hated it, more than anything. She then thought for a moment, and, she smirked cruelly. She had another plan, alot more evil than punching and kicking Mikan in the stomach.

Tonight, she would help Mikan... _die..._

That night, Mikan was washing her face in her sink before walking out of her ensuite and sighing, staring at the mess of her room. She then walked towards her ruined bed, and pulled the scissors out of the matress, she needed somewhere to sleep, of course, so she threw the scissors across the room where her scattered diary was, and she then flung herself on the bed, when she felt a chill run down her spine. Was someone there? She wondered, and sat up, staring around the dark room. She couldn't turn on her light, the bulb was broken.

Mikan looked around, but saw no one, when, she heard the floorboards creak, and she gasped loudly as someone shoved a hand over her mouth, and they grinned, her gold eyes gleaming in the pale moonlight as Mikan tried to scream against her hand, but Risa was a bit stronger than Mikan was, and Mikan's eyes widened when she saw that Risa was holding a knife in her hands. Mikan tried to scream even louder.

"Stop squirming, you stupid bitch. If you keep still, it won't hurt as much, you emo!" snapped Risa coldly, and she shoved the point into Mikan's side as Mikan screamed and bit Risa's hand while doing so, and screamed as loud as she could while Risa flung Mikan to the floor, and stabbed her again, then ran out of the window and slammed it shut as Mikan screamed and clutched her side, all the blood leaking onto her hands, and she pulled the knife out, screaming once more before everything around her went black...

Natsume ran down the halls upon hearing Mikan's screams, he held a torch in his hands, and then when he came to Mikan's room, he tried to open the door, and realized it was locked. He cursed it, and tried to bang on the door to get Mikan to open it, but he didn't know she was slowly dieing from blood loss. He banged and cried her name as she lay there, sprawled on the floor, in a puddle of blood.

"Mikan! Mikan open the fucking door! MIKAN!" he yelled, and, he went backwards, and soon ran into the door, smashing it to pieces and stopping to see Mikan on the floor, his eyes wide with shock at what he saw, and he fell to his knee's, shaking her, trying to wake her up, but he couldn't. Tears spilled down his face as he stared at her.

"Mikan... Wake up!" he cried as Narumi and the other teachers ran in, eyes wide as they stared at Mikan who was in Natsume's arms. Natsume stared at them, and Jinno rushed to get the nurses of the academy while Natsume stared at them, tears staining his face as he hugged Mikan close to his body. Narumi touched his shoulder, and stared at the boy who wouldn't let her go.

"Natsume... What happened?" Narumi asked as Natsume stared at him, and shook his head. He didn't know, but it was obvious Mikan had been stabbed, and she hadn't stabbed herself, he thought, he knew who could have don it... Risa Mikota, who was standing outside the window, growling, why did everyone have to save her. She thought no one would miss her, the plan back fired! She hated that...

X-X-X

"Mikan, you're awake?" Hotaru asked as Mikan opened her eyes, and saw she was in the hospital wing,a dn she rubbed her eyes, staring at everyone around her. All her friends, including Sumire, were there, watching her. They smiled when her eyes opened, and she looked up, confused, then sat, and found she had a pain in her side, and she winced, clutchung her side.

"Ow..." she mumbled, and Natsume stared at her, then pulled her into his arms as she stared at him, wide eyed and shocked.

"Thank god you woke up. I thought you would die..." he whispered, and Mikan stared at him, but let him hold her, she wondered what had happened to her. "I found you on your floor, bleeding. Someone stabbed you. What happened, Mikan?" asked Natsume as Mikan gasped, and remembered that Risa had stabbed her the night before, twice. Mikan's eyes grew scared. She shook and clutched Natsume, shaking her head.

"No... No... NO!" she cried, when in walked the devil herself, grinning from ear to ear, but she suddenly put on a sad expression when she saw everyone there, and she looked like she was about to cry as everyone stared at her.

"Oh, Mikan! How could you do that to yourself? You tried to commit suicide! Everyone would have been _mortified!_ Mikan, don';t you care about our feelings, one bit? I heard you stabbed yourself, you fool!" cried Risa as everyone stared at her, shocked, and looked at Mikan who shivered, then pointed towards Risa, glaring at her angrily, her finger shaking.

"Me, ME!? Why would I try to kill myself!? EH? You walked into my room last night and stabbed me! Like when you kicked me in the stomach! You heartless little son of a bitch!" yelled Mikan, ready to kill Risa as everyone held her back, and Risa let crocodile tears spill dwon her cheeks, and she burst into fake tears, clutching natsume's hand and staring at him.

"She's lying! She just hates me for no reaosn, Natsume! You believe me! That little emo freak tried to kill herself! Next it will be her little _friend!"_ she snapped, pointing at ikan accusingly as everyone glared at her, and Hotaru shoved her away, and went to hold onto Mikan as Mikan shivered and glared at Risa, coldly. She didn't try to push anyone away, not even Natsume Hyuuga. She just returned the embrace.

Much to his delight.

"There is one thing Mikan would never do and that is lie. But of course, the bitches that are alot like you would lie, of course, seeing as that's all you're good at!" Hotaru snapped as Risa took one careful step forward, then smirked, a hand on her hip as she glared at Hotaru, then threw a wink at Natsume and laughed, evily, like a witch, almost. Her cackle went through the halls.

"Whatever, you freaky emo! You had better watch your back, remember what I said, FREAK!" she grinned, and left, cackling as Hotaru gasped, and held onto Mikan even tighter as the tears streamed down her face while Risa walked off...

After resting, Mikan was up again and talking to Narumi. Natsume had insisted to stay with her, and he held her hand. Both he and Narumi saw a complete change in Mikan, and she was alot happier, she would hold Natsume tightly and not let him go, she was so afraid... Mikan stared at Narumi, who was telling her about her room and when she would go back in there.

"So, when do you think would be the right time?" he asked as she stared at him, and shook her head, wide eyed. She didn't want to go back, she was... scared.

"No... Don't make me go back, I wanna go with Natsume, please, I'm scared..." she whispered, her eyes wide with fear as Natsume stared at her, and she embraced him suddenly, not daring to let him go. She was scared, he saw it in her eyes. And was that love he saw? He knew the ice wouldn't budge so easily, but, at least she was warming to him more. Mikan hugged him and put her head on his chest.

"Okay then, we'll have to get another bed in Natsume's dorm, but Mikan, you'll have to get your things." he said, and Mikan looked at Natsume, the fear covering her eyes and he saw she was too scared to even enter the room let alone sleep in there. He smiled and gently kissed her forehead, brushing her long hair with his fingers as she shivered and sniffed.

"I'll get her things. Mikan, Narumi will take care of you here." Natsume whispered, and walked out of the wing as Mikan watched him leave, tears in her eyes. She was afraid he would leave her again, like the last time...

Natsume stood in the dark bedroom, and saw the blood on the floor. He sighed deeply, he understood why she was so scared to go back, now. He then went around her room, looking for things. He got all her clean uniforms, her hair brush, her hair ribbons, underwear etc and her toothbrush. He then shoved them all in a bag, and went to hunt for her books and things, then, he saw something on the floor, and picked it up, torn pages from a diary. He knew it wasn't right to pry, but, in scrawly writing, he saw his name, he looked at it.

_Dear Diary  
Natsume-kun looks soo handsome today! I think I have fallen in love with him!_

_Dear Diary  
Hotaru-chan says I should tell Natsume, but I don't think he likes me. He keeps pushing me away. I think of him all the time  
He is so blessed and loved, I have no chance anyways, because much prettier girls suit his standards. I'm just the annoying,  
plain girl who is always making him mad._

_Dear Diary  
I am going to tell Natsume my feelings tomorrow! I can't wait! I think it is the perfect timing! And if he says no, I will be sad  
But at least I will still have him as my friend! If Natsume wasn't there for me, I would surely die of pain!_

_Diary,  
Natsume, that coward, he left today and only said so in a letter, a letter! I told him I loved him, but the bastard just pushed  
me away. I should have known an idiot like me would never be able to love a guy like him. He hates me, and I hate him.  
Love is a stupid fucking affedction for the people who think it's real. All love does to you is break your heart! That bastard!  
I HATE HIM! I will show him I __**dont't need HIM!**_

Natsume stared at the page, and shook. It was covered in tears and blood stains. Had she started cutting herself, then? She was so angry because of that, it hurt to see it written there in her own words, in her weird handwriting... Natsume sniffed, and put it down, walking out of the room with the bag and books, and he walked back to the wing where Mikan was waiting patiently for him. Narumi left.

"Mikan... I saw your... Diary." Natsume mumbled as Mikan stared at him, wide eyed, but she shook her head and sighed, then stared at him, sadly.

"What did you read?" she asked quietly, turning her gaze to the ceiling as he stared at her, and smiled a little. She didn't care, she was changing so much around him, he was helping her to be happy again. He wanted to see her smile so badly, he couldn't wait until the day he saw her smile again, and both Hotaru and Youichi would love that day to appear quickly. He turned his attention to Mikan as she looked at the ceiling with little interest.

"Only the things about how you loved me, then I finished on the day I... I rejected you." he whispered, and Mikan stared at him, then put her hand over his and shook her head, staring into his crimson eyes, those wonderful eyes...

"Why did you? You never loved me, right? You could have just said no, Natsume. I wouldn't care. I would have loved you as just my friend, But... You just had to turn me into... This." she whispered, and he stared at her, smiling and shaking his head, he didn't want to hurt her anymore, he wanted to make her happy, make her smile, make her have fun again. He wanted the annoying little girl back again, in his arms.

"I have always loved you, no matter what, it's just, Persona made sure I wouldn't say it, or, he would hurt you, Mikan. That's why I rejected you." he whispered as Mikan stared at him, then turned her head away slowly and stared at a far wall.

"Oh... Well, Natsume, make me smile soon, because then, when you see me smile again, I will love you, and stay with you forever, like I always wanted." she whispered, and he smiled, and hugged her. Mikan sighed, sharing the embrace as Risa Mikota, pissed off as hell, watched.

"_that's it... Time for plan 2!" _she said mentally in her head as Miyako watched, she didn't like this, she knew that Risa was going to use her second alice on Natsume Hyuuga... To make him fall in love with her...

End Chapter Nine 

Well? If you liked it, you can say it in your head or in a review, or if you don't like it, flames are accepted, but, this isn't going to get any happier people, it will go _down_ hill from here. The happiness stops soon, so, be prepared for sadness.

_**Loev Blue -Niagra**_

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	10. Plan 2

Okay the happiness for Natsume and Mikan ends here, the rest is just sadness for Mikan. Can she cope, what will happen to her? Read on and find out for yourselves, if you want...

Me: Disclaimed.

Natsume: Of course.

Me: Do not own Gakuen Alice or it's characters, wish I did.

Natsume: She only owns the brats of this story.

Me: And the misfortune of me putting this story up.

Natsume: No good will come out of this story, fellow reviewers.

Me: Her tears are wasted...

**Don't Drown in your Tears**

**Ten: Plan 2**

Mikan awoke to sunlight streaming through the window and the blinds that tried to trap it. She yawned, how long had she been asleep? Long enough, it was a saturday, and usually, she was awake by 9:00pm latest, but today she woke up at 11:00pm. She sighed and yawned, sitting up on her futon that was rested in natsume's room. She sighed. She had slept in there two whole days, she blushed.

She was warming to him, and she would let him hold her tightly and let him kiss her forehead and hold her hand. She assured people they weren't dating, much to Natsume, and Hotaru's disappointment. But, what everyone was waiting for was Mikan's smile to shine again. Mikan still yelled and glared at people, and her habits of biting would _not_ die, but when they finally did, they would be missed very little, Mikan realised.

Risa had been glaring at her more, and Mikan realised she was getting worse. Numerous times in the hall Mikan had tripped because of the bitchy little witch, and Risa had blamed it on Mikan herself, always grinning as she said every word. Mikan hated that girl, she just didn't know how much more Risa would hurt her... She had no idea, but, Miyako did...

Miyako stood on a tree branch, deciding not to sit today, arms folded as she watched Risa push past people, gradually, she was showing her true nature, and less people liked the bitch. Miyako folded her arms and sighed, shaking her head. She just hoped nothing happened to Mikan, was all. She at least wanted someone to have the happy ending she didn't, and that excluded her terrible twin, she wanted Risa to die.

To be truthful, most people did, but Risa wasn't so easily dropped off, she always sprung back up, with a new plan, like she had today. She growled as she stomped down the hallways, her pretty face twisted into an ugly scowl as she cracked a pencil in half, and threw it at an innocent student who stared at her, and she glared at him, then, smiled sweetly before walking off again.

Risa then sat down under a tree, waiting for someone, anyone to come towards her, she needed to test out her plan and use her other powerful alice on them, just to prove it would work. Miyako stalked her, hating her sister more than ever, but she sat behind the tree, when someone suddenly walked past, a boy, Risa grinned, and stood up, grabbing his collar, and making him face her, darkness in her eyes.

"Look into my eyes, kid!" she snapped, and he stared at her, wide eyed as she grinned, and pulled his collar tighter.

"You love me, right?" she hissed, and suddenly, his eyes turned hollow and blank, and he nodded, sytaring at her, and smiling as she stared at him and grinned. The alice of seduction was her second alice, and she was going to use it on Natsume Hyuuga, and some more of his little friends, just to make sure she could win the battle. She wanted to break Mikan Sakura _so_ badly.

And what better way to do it than to seduce her loved ones? And make them _hate_ her. It wasn't just seduction she obtained, iit was also the voice pheromone, to make people do whatever she said, and it was such a wonderful alice. The Mikota heir sighed happily, she was so glad she obtained that precious gift from her father, Reo, she grinned. Of course, she didn't know him, but, she didn't care, he gave her power to kill Mikan Sakura, and to get the one she wanted.

But if he was dead, she thought, surely she would spit on his grave, she loathed him for leaving her and their mother, leaving them forever. But Risa just grinned. At least, if she saw him, she would kill him, or better yet, get someone else to kill him. Too bad she couldn't control Mikan to kill herself, or, she would have done it sooner, if it wasn't for the powerful and rare alice of nullification. But, hurting her was better. She could watch it all in slow motion, and love it more than anything!

Because, if she got Mikan to kill herself by an alice, then there would be no emotions in her eyes, she wanted to see that pain, to see the hurt in Mikan's eyes, to watch her cry as she watched Natsume fall to her and to hate her without knowing it. Risa wanted Mikan to _beg_. She wanted her to cry and crumple up, she wanted Mikan dead. She wanted the girl out of the way.

And after Mikan was gone, she would kill off the rest of her little friends, so that no one, and she meant it, _no one_ could interfere with her and Natsume's perfect relationship. She grinned. Even if she had to make Natsume love her by force, she would be happy. Happier than ever.

Risa laughed as the boy staring at her smiled, and she pushed him away, so that his head his a large rock and he bled, she stepped towards him, hands on her hips, grinning like an elf as she laughed, and her eyes grew dark and cold. She had no care in her, she didn't care if he died.She stood there, laughing as she watched his head bleed and then she put a foot on his hand, and crushed it under her shoe, smirking with mirth.

"My love is only for Natsume. No one else can love him... He's _mine_. And no one should FORGET IT!" she yelled into the air, and grinned, laughing and walking off, twirling and swinging her bag dangerously as her long hair flew out behind her, and Miyako watched her, then went towards the boy, and stopped the bleeding before it became too bad, and turned human for a moment. She couldn't let him die, Risa was too cruel.

She had reasons for killing people, Miyako did, but, Risa had no reason to try and murder this guy...

Mikan was walking through the school canteen, it was lunch, and she was starting to eat again, much to everyone's delight, soon, she would be the sweet-toothed loud Mikan they had all loved again. There was no sign of Sumire that day, but they had thought she was ill and couldn't go to classes _or_ lunch. Mikan sat beside Hotaru, who gave Mikan a small smile.

"Are you okay?" she asked with concern edged in her voice as Mikan nodded, then sighed and stared down at her food, how was she supposed to eat all of that? She normally had just one bite and there, she was finished. She shrugged it off and took her fork in her hand, and slowly, she started to eat her food, chewing and swallowing. She wanted to stop, but, she knew it was for her own good.

Mikan ate and ate as everyone else watched her, and ate their own food. They wanted to make sure Mikan ate everything on her plate. They smiled when she did, and she stared at them, and stood up. She took her plate and tray back to the counter, then left to go to the bathroom. No one followed her. They knew she would be okay. As Mikan walked down the empty halls, she was jumped by Sumire, and she jumped, then clamed down when she saw who it was.

"Oh, Shoda, it's only you. I thought you were some blood thirsty murderer or that Risa bitch. Oh well, I thought you were ill, are you okay now?" she asked Sumire who just stared at her, with cold eyes that were filled with hatred. Mikan stared at the girl, and paused for a moment. What could be wrong with the perm-haired girl, she thought to herself as Sumire glared at her.

"Shoda, cat got your tongue?" she asked as Sumire glare dat her, then suddenly, pounced and knocked Mikan to the floor, and Mikan screamed as Sumire slapped her in the face, then let her claws come out as Mikan screamed, eyes wide with shock, she tried to stop her, but one of the claws was aimed at her neck, and blood seeped through a deep wound by the side of her neck. Mikan was awfully lucky.

"You bitch! Die. No one wants you hear, you brat! You just fucking die like your dead grandfather! Stab yourself, bitch!" cried Sumire as Mikan cried in fright, and pushed her off, getting up and running down the halls as Sumire hissed, and bounded after her on all fours. Mikan screamed, running faster as she reached a tree, and tried to climb up it, but Sumire pulled her down, and grinned, Mikan saw her eyes were blank. She gasped.

The Voice Permonone! Mikan stared at Sumire, who scratched Mikan's cheek as the blood dripped down her face, and Mikan pushed her away, backing up against the tree, shivering slightly as Sumire glared at her.

"Sumire, what's wrong! Don't you see, you're being controlled! Listen to me, Shoda! Shoda! PERMY FUCKING GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!" Mikan screamed, but Sumire just descended on Mikan as Mikan yelled and yelled, when someone threw something at Sumire, and Mikan gasped, looking up at the tree brach as a girl stood there with long blonde hair, glaring at Sumire, arms folded.

"Leave her alone, you cat!" she hissed, when someone ran towards them, and glared up at Miyako, coldly.

"You will not interfere with my battle, you little bitch! Sumire, KILL Mikan Sakura!" screamed Risa as Mikan gasped, and Sumire was ready to pounce, when Miyako jumped down, and glared at her sister, holding out her hand as Sumire screamed and flew backwards. Mikan gasped, hands to her mouth as Risa glared at her sister, coldly.

"This isn't over, you, Mikan Sakura, will _die!"_ she screamed, and Risa disappeared into the school as Miyako watched her leave, then helped Mikan up, and turned into a ghost again. Only Mikan could see her, though. Miyako stared at Mikan, no emotion in her eyes as she held Mikan's hand, tightly.

"Don't let Risa fool you, Sakura. Don't you _dare_ drown in your tears!" hissed the ghost, and she then walked off as Mikanw atched her, don't drown in your tears? What the hell did that mean? Natsume had said it, a long time ago, but, no one knew what it meant. Mikan stood there, staring...

X-X-X

In the halls, Sumire and Risa were walkinga s Risa growled, throwing her fist into everything she could see. Then, she heard more footsteps, and she turned around as Sumire ducked into a small space to hide. Risa stared at the figure, and saw two people. She saw that they were Ruka Nogi, and Imai Hotaru. She grinned. Her next targets. Her grin was so malicious. Ruka and Hotaru stopped when they saw her, and instantly glared.

"Hello, kiddies." she grinned, hands on her hips as they glared at her, and backed away a little, so they were out of her reach.

"Don't walk away from me, you impudent brats! Come _here_!" she ordered, and the two suddenly walked towards her, and she grinned, then pulled Ruka closer, and kissed him as his eyes widened, and once she pulled away, his emotions were lost, and he was under her power and command as she grinned, and put her mouth to his ear, whispering coldly,

"You hate Mikan Sakura, she is your enemy. Mikan doesn't love you, she thinks you're a fool. She's been _laughing_ behind your back, Ruka. She thinks you are worthless and pityful for all these years of liking _her_. She thinks she is the best, but no, she isn't, Ruka, Mikan isn't your friend, she's your enemy! Hate her, and hurt her." she hissed as Ruka's eyes widened, and he nodded, his hands curling into fists, and he punched a wall suddenly, sending a crack up the tiles as Hotaru watched in horror, and Risa turned her gaze to the raven haired inventor, and grinned,

"And you! Mikan Sakura is not your best friend anymore! She hates you, despises your living guts, She thinks you are a freaky girl with no life or emotions! She has been lauging at you ever since she met you. In her diary she said she wanted you dead, she thinks you are nothing but dirt! She wants to kill you. Mikan Sakura is a little bitch, a whore! She was messing with your heart, Hotaru Imai! Don't let her win! Hate her! Forever!" she yelled into Hotaru's ear as Hotaru stood there, glaring over at Mikan who sat under a tree, her cheek bleeding, and Hotaru growled.

"I... _hate_ you Mikan Sakura." she hissed as Risa grinned, and her laughter rang out through the corridors of the alice academy... Her plan was going to be a success, it was sad to say...

End Chapter Ten 

Well it was short, but definately NOT sweet! review your opinions, please. 3 more chapters to go. Hope you liked it... Oh, yeah, I think everyone hates Risa, by the way, don't you think?

_**Love Blue -Niagra**_

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	11. The barrier breaks

Hehehehe... Okay, Proffessional, today my chapter is dedicated to you! You _really_ hate Risa, I guessed from when you tried to kill her... But, here is the next chapter!

Me: Disclaimed.

Miyako: This hurts peoples hearts, Kelly...

Me: I know, I am changing the angst bit, to tragic today, so, this is Tragic, people.

Miyako: Risa is such a bitch!

Me: I have to have a bad guy in there somewhere, Miyako!

Miyako: Duh!

Me: ... sighs Don't own Gakuen Alice, only Miyako, and, eurgh, Risa, sad to say How did I come UP with her!?

Miyako: Kelly, you have a natural talent for making bad guys...

**Don't Drown in your Tears**

**Eleven: The barrier **_**breaks**_

Risa grinned. She was so incredulously ingenius, she thought, and threw her head back, laughing as Hotaru, Ruka and Sumire all looked in the direction of Mikan, and glared. Then, the bell went for afternoon classes, and they all followed Risa in hot pursuit to class as Mikan stood up, and walked into the building, and, she was met by Natsume, who stared at her as she saw him smile gently towards her.

"You okay, Polka-Dots?" he asked, using her favourite nickname of all time as she nodded, and let him hold her hand for one second, before they walked into class, and were about to go to their seats, Mikan beside Hotaru, Natsume beside, eurgh, that horrible Risa. But before Mikan could reach her seat, she was tripped by someone, and she gasped, falling smack hard onto the floor.

"OW!" she yelled, and then something hit her head, the _baka_ gun, she remembered, and looked up at Hotaru, who was glaring at her, coldly, Mikan's mouth fell open as Hotaru held the baka gun in her hand, and everyone silenced as they watched Imai Hotaru try to pummel Mikan with the baka gun, but, by her third try, Mikan rolled away, and stared at her best friend as Hotaru glared at her coldly.

"Idiot. Don't you dare come near me!" snapped the inventor girl as everyone went wide eyed, and Risa folded her arms, grinning. Mikan stared at her best friend, and ready to cry. Why was Hotaru doing this? Mikan stared at Hotaru who growled, then hit her again with the gun, on the head, this time, and she smirked, laughing as Mikan stared in horror at the bruise that was forming on her head.

"Hotaru! Why are you doing this!" she cried as Hotaru glared at her, then got up, and walked towards Mikan, then...

_SLAP!!!_

Mikan clutched her cheek as tears formed in her eyes, and Hotaru glared at her coldly, hating Mikan inside, she was listening to what Risa told her to do. She was going on Risa's side, but Mikan didn't know this, because Risa made sure they all had emotion inside them to make them angry. Mikan stared at the cold eyes on Hotaru.

"Payback, you emo bitch! This is for all of those years! I hate you, I have always hated you! Never once did I really like you. I only ever told you to smile to make you stop blubbering, you pathetic excuse of a child. I never liked you, I detested your guts, bitch! I eman, ha! No one could love you, _no one!_ Not even your dead parents, no, wait, they _abandoned_ you, because you, were just a mistake!" snapped Hotaru as she slapped Mikan again, while Sumire and Ruka laughed harshly towards Mikan, whose eyes widened, and so did Natsume's, he ran towards Mikan, who tried to push him away as the tears welled in her eyes.

"Hotaru, what happened to you! You were so kind!" she cried, fighting off Natsume who tried to hold her as Hotaru grinned, coldly.

"I realised how much of a pain you were, and you know, when Natsume rejected you, I _loved_ seeing you in so much PAIN! It was so funny, to see one of the weirdest, most stupid girls in this academy suddenly try to become suicidal! I _loved_ it more than time! I mean, ha, you, Mikan Sakura, the happiest girl here, in pain! priceless! I wish I could have taped you when you stabbed yourself some nights ago!" laughed Hotaru as Mikan's eyes widened, and she looked at Risa, who was sitting there, minding her own business, but, Mikan didn't realise quickly enough, this _was_ her business.

"B-But that was RISA! She stabbed me!" cried Mikan as Hotaru glared at Mikan, then twisted her wrist as she made Mikan stand up, and everyone saw Mikan was shaking.

"You pitiful wreck." she smirked, and threw Mikan against the wall as Natsume stared in horror. What was happening?

"Imai what the fuck are you doing!?" snapped Natsume as Ruka and Sumire stood, walking towards Mikan and Natsume, and standing with Hotaru as the tears Mikan had hidden spilled down her cheeks. How was she going to smile when all of this was happening to her? Mikan then cried out in pain as a hard boot landed against her leg, and Ruka glared at Mikan, hand on hip.

"She was only stating the truth, Natsume, and you had better believe it yourself, soon, before that bitch brainwashes you with her lies." snapped Sumire and Ruka grinned, slapping her a high five as Sumire cackled and Hotaru returned to her seat, glaring at Mikan while Ruka and Sumire returned to their seats, and the brunette stood, runing out of the room as Natsume ran after her, while Jinno watched, eyes wide. Risa found this as the perfect oppertunity.

"Okay, everyone, listen up! Including you, Jinno. We hate Mikan Sakura, right, no one likes her! She is a bitch and hates all of us! She tried to frame me for what she did when she stabbed herself! Who thinks she should just _die_?" hissed the girl as everyone's hands suddenly shot up, and she smirked, even Jinno was brainwashed with her lies, and she laughed, then threw her head back, and cackled. She was sadly winning...

Mikan ran threw the school building, crying as Natsume ran after her, and soon, caught up to her, pulling her into embrace. Mikan knew something was wrong, she truly did. Her heart hurt with sadness, and her nullification barrier was growing weaker. If all her friends started to hate her, then wouldn't her barrier break? Mikan held onto Natsume tightly, and started crying.

"Natsume! Natsume, I can't go on! If they keep doing this, then, then I will surely break and lose control! If they do this... Th-Then... I won't smile again." she whispered as he stared at her, then wiped away her tears and kissed her forehead. More tears spilled down her cheeks as she stared at him, and sniffed, putting her head on his chest and soaking his clean blazor jacket. He didn't mind, he held onto her tightly, and tried to calm her down. He was the only one that could, really...

After a few seconds of silence, Mikan stared up at Natsume, and spoke,

"Natsume, remember years ago, you told Ruka to tell me to... To never drown in my tears." she whispered, and he nodded as she stared at him, and then at the ground. "Wh-What did you mean?" was her whispered question, and Natsume stared at her, and then shrugged. He had no idea, either. He held her chin in his hands.

"I don't really know, Mikan. I mean, at the time, I thought it was a good thing to say because I knew you would cry too much. So, I said it. It seemed to... fit." he said as Mikan stared at him, and sighed, maybe she would still need to figure out what it meant, like everyone else in the academy. But for now, they needed to figure out what was wrong with their friends, when suddenly, Youichi walked towards them, and clutched Natsume's hand.

"Something's wrong with auntie Hotaru and Uncle Ruka, Onii-san. Thye won't speak to me, their eyes look like they are full of hatred." he whispered as Mikan stared at the young kid, and noticed how much he had grown up. She had missed out on that, and she was sad she had. She stared at Youichi, then at Natsume, and sighed, she hugged Youichi, tightly.

"That hatred... It's for me. Youichi, wait until I smile again, then, me and Natsume, we will be together. Just like I wanted." she whispered, and let him go, then ran off, tears evident in her large hazel eyes as Natsume watched her run, and was going to go after her, but Youichi pulled him back. Mikan ran down the corridors, her foot steps echoeing off the walls, when she was stopped by Anna, who suddenly had coldness and hatred edged in her eyes. Mikan gasped as Anna swung a kick at her, and growled.

"You should die, just like everyone wants you to, you little rat!" snapped Anna, throwing a punching at Mikan, who gasped and dodged the attack so that when Anna tried to punch her, she hit the wall, instead, and blood trickled down Anna's knuckles as she growled, and turned to glare at Mikan, who was off again, running and gasping as she tried to escape everyone. Her barrier was getting weaker.

"Oh no..." whispered Miyako, and she was ready to help, when Risa came up behind her, and grinned, snapping her fingers.

"Miyako, stay here, and turn human." hissed the older twin as Miyako gasped, and turned human suddenly, her eyes turned blank and hollow as Risa smirked, then snapped her fingers again, and Miyako faced her sister, eyes distant and hazey, just how Risa liked it. She grinned, and folded her arms.

"Now, lay down and die, you pathetic excuse for a sister! snarled the bitch as Miyako did as she was told, and Risa ran off, laughing, this time, Miyako would be a real ghost. Well, she would be, if it wasn't for Mikan who had run by, and her nullification seemed to affect some of Miyako, and she gasped, getting up and coming to her senses, if only Mikan's nullification wasn't that weak, then, she would be able to help all of her friends...

But, Miyako saw the barrier around Mikan, it was getting smaller, her friends hating her, made her grow weak. And she saw Mikan was crying, Miyako turned into a ghost, and flew after Mikan, but, Mikan couldn't see Miyako because she was so stressed and sad. Miyako gasped and watched as Mikan ran from various people who were once her friends, and tried to dodge the attacks they landed. They couldn't use their alices on her, yet, she was using hers to stop them, but, why couldn't she get rid of Risa's, at all?

Risa smirked, and laughed.

"_You can't get rid of my alice... Mikan Sakura, because, the only way you can get them back to normal is to regain their trust, and, this will be hard for you, because, you'll be dead when they remember, and soon, they'll be in their graves, along with you." _she thought to herself, coldly as she sat in a tree, watching Sakura run from everyone she thought were her friends, and swinging her legs as her cold eyes narrowed on Mikan, and she frowned.

"You had better die soon, you Sakura bitch!" she hissed through her teeth, and jumped down from her tree branch, landing in front of Koko and Yuu, who stared at her and stood straight as she smirked, coldly, colder than ever before.

"Make sure she see's something later on, you two, or, I will make sure you pay for it if you don't!" she snapped, and they nodded, and went after Mikan again, who was losing the power to control her alice, and Mikan heard their footsteps, and ran faster, but, she was losing her energy, just like her alice, and she knew they would catch her soon enough. She made the mistake of looking over her shoulder, and she tripped suddnly over a rock, and sprained her ankle. How could she run now!?

Then, someone helped her up, and she saw Miyako, to her surprise.

"M-Miyako!" she cried as Miyako shook her head, then ran with Mikan in her arms, in human form, towards an empty room and she sat Mikan on the bench as Mikan stared at her, and Miyako locked the door behind her, just so that no one could get in, and she ran towards Mikan.

"Mikan, are you okay!" she cried, and Mikan nodded, then looked out the window, and saw people looking for her. She knew they wanted to hurt her, and she shook with fear at that thought. She knew she had been bad in the past, but, couldn't they see she was changing, again? She was changing ack to her old self? She was learning to let love encase her heart? Mikan let invisible tears spill down her cheeks as she thought about it. Miyako watched her. She had no idea Risa was behind this, because, Risa had made sure Miyako wouldn't know about it, at all.

That's how cunning her twin sister was. Miyako embraced Mikan, who sobbed and let the ghost girl hold onto her, and Miyako shook her head.

"Mikan, don't cry." she whispered as Mikan sniffed, and shook her head.

"B-But they all hate me!" she cried as Miyako tried to calm her down, and stroked her hair, then made Mikan face her, and Mikan stared at Miyako, who looked at Mikan's crying eyes, "Mikan, do you know what Don't drown in your tears means?" she asked, and Mikan shook her head as Miyako stared at her, then opened her mouth, ready to say it, "It means-" but she was cut off, because the door came crashing down thanks to someone's alice, and they grinned as Mikan screamed and threw herself against Miyako, and sobbed as they smirked, and pushed Miyako away, grinning at Mikan.

"You, ya little slut, are coming with us!" snapped Ruka, grabbing Mikan by the wrist as she screamed and struggled, trying to get away from them all. But, they were too strong, and Mikan soon stopped struggling when someone slapped her around the face. It was Hotaru, and soon, Sumire copied, smirking.

Would this day get any worse, Mikan wodnered, yes, it would...

End Chapter Eleven 

Yet another chapter complete! Next chapter is the penultimate, or, second to last! Please, I hope you enjoyed and wait for chapter Twelve, The penultimate Plan! Plan 3 Arigatou for reading!

_**Love Blue -Niagra**_

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	12. The Penultimate Plan! Plan 3!

Sorry to all of the people out there who want Risa to die, but, she's gonna be alive! And now, for the next chapter! Penultimate time, people!

Me: Disclaimed.

Natsume: Changed it to tragic yet?

Me: Oh CRAP!

Natsume: ... sweatdrops

Me: turns it to tragic

Natsume: She does not own Gakuen Alice, thank god, if she did, I think I would have made Mikan pregnant...

Me: brightens Yes, you would have!

**Don't Drown in your Tears**

**Twelve: The Penultimate Plan! Plan 3!**

Mikan screamed as she was dragged by the wrist towards a tree as they threw her there, and grinned. Yuu and Koko stood above her as tears welled in her eyes, she didn't understand why anyone was doing this to her, she just didn't understand. Mikan was growing weaker, Miyako saw that, she had been dragged there, aswell, along with Mikan, and they threw them both against the wall.

Then they suddenly started to throw things at the two as Mikan cried and Miyako screamed. She had gone so long without pain, they both cried and screamed as large pieces of wood were thrown at them, and the kids even dared to throw bricks as they watched Mikan and Miyako in pain, trying to get free from them, but it was useless, escape was futile because too many kids were making it hard to escape.

"No use escaping, bitches! Don't even think about it!" Nonoko snapped, and a shoe was thrown at Mikan as everyone laughed, then there was sludge thrown at them and Mikan screamed, covering her mouth, when someone aimed their foot into her stomach, and blood poured from her open mouth, all onto the grass as she spluttered and everyone broke into cruel, hatred filled laughter. Mikan stared at them, wide eyed, blood dribbling down her chin.

"You guys! What's wrong with you!?" she cried, tears streaking down her face as they stopped laughing, and Sumire threw her hand at Mikan's throat, and held her there, choking Mikan who gasped for breath, holding her against the wall as Miyako gasped and tried to hit Sumire, but Nonoko threw a kick at Miyako's head, and knocked her out instantly as Mikan tried to break free. But, Sumire just smirked and held her there even tighter.

"Nothing's the matter with us, you simerping piece of shit! It's what's wrong with _you!_ We only just realised how evil you were and how much we really hated your livig guts! When you die, we will celebrate grandly! Your death will be like a birthday party, Mikan Sakura, so, hurry up and die!" Sumire grinned, laughing as everyone grinned, and Mikan's eyes turned to immediate fright as everyone glared at her, and took out knives,. Mikan screamed and screamed.

"Stop struggling, you brat!" Koko screeched, and handed Sumire the knife, and she cut Mikan's arm as Mikan screamed and screamed, trying to fight them as Sumire inflicted wounds upon Mikan, but the worst pain was, that Hotaru started to cut her aswell. Mikan cried and screamed, kicking out at them as they watched her in absolute amusement. Hotaru shoved a hand over Mikan's mouth, and growled.

"Shut the fuck up! We thought you enjoyed this, you do it to yourself alot, you little bitch!" snapped Hotaru, and cut Mikan on the cheek as Mikan screamed and suddenly, bit down on Hotaru's hand, and Hotaru yelled in pain, dropping the knife she held and it clattered onto the concrete as she held her hand, eyes blazing, and Mikan then kicked away Sumire as everyone tried to punch her.

"You little _bitch!_ Everyone, after her!" snapped Hotaru as Mikan started to run, but everyone stared at Miyako. Hotaru snarled, why were they all so dense. She grabbed ahold of Ruka's arm, and pulled him,

"Come on, leave her! She's not the one we want dead!" she snarled, and everyone immediately followed her in the chase to catch Mikan, who was running for her life and screaming her lungs off as everyone ran after her. Mikan screamed and screamed, running from the people who hated her most, and tried not to trip or twist her ankle. She just hoped Miyako was okay...

"Hello, Natsume Hyuuga. Oh, look, your brothers here." came a sharp, cold voice as Youichi and Natsume turned to see the smirking Risa, hands on her hips as they took a careful step bak while she moved forward, and flipped her long, glossy hair behind her shoulder. Natsume held Youichi's hand tightly, and Youichi hid behind Natsume's back to be on the safe side.

"What the fuck do you want, Mikota!" yelled Natsume as Risa tutted, and waggled a finger at him, looking disappointed, she smiled and walked forward, close to him, her face near his as Natsume stared at her, wide eyed. She _did_ freak him out more than ever!

"Is that any way to treat me, Natsume Hyuuga, your _girlfriend_, your one and only, oh, Natsume, how cruel of you. I mean, you go for that hideous Mikan Sakura girl and reject me, the prettiest girl in school, and you just chase after the heartless bitch. But, you still don't see it, do you? She hates you, while I love you, Natsume. Just give up on her and come to me!" purred the girl as Natsume looked at her in disgust.

"You sicken me! You really do sicken me, you know!? I don't think you love me at all, this is just your sick mind game, you are obsessed! And Mikan does have a heart, one much purer than yours! I will never give up on her, you cow!" he yelled as Risa stared at him, and suddenly, she grew angry and her face changed, an angry scowl appeared across her lips and her eyebrows knitted together as her eyes grew dark, and her fingers twitched as she glared at Natsume, coldly.

"Oh you wouldn't _dare_ say those things to my face again, you piece of shit! If you say one more bad thing about me you will get it much worse, you hear! That little bitch stole you from me! All she has ever done is act cold towards you, and you still want to be with HER!?" screeched Risa as Natsume smirked, and held onto Youichi's hand tightly, nodding as Risa glared at him.

"Yes. Because, I want to make her smile." he smirked, and Risa stared at him, then grinned and stopped scowling, flipping her hair back and chuckling as he stared at her.

"Mikan? Smile? No way. You can make me smile, any time, Natsume Hyuuga. I don't mind, just forget Mikan and let her wither away! She deserves it!" Risa cried as Natsume shoved her away, and glared at her, so did Youichi. He set his spirits on her, but, she didn't even flinch, he watched her in fight as she turned to glare at him, then grinned.

"Youichi, be a good boy and do what Risa Mitoka wants. Come here!"" she hissed, and Youichi suddenly ran towards her as Natsume stared in shock and she held onto Youichi by the neck, and grinned coldly as she stared at Natsume, her eyes flashing, and she walked closer towards him, and laughed, cruelly.

"If you want to see him alive, then you had better do as you're told, Natsume my dear. If you don't I can rip his neck in two, just like I told Hotaru, but, my term now is much more violent, right? So, Natsume, do what I say, and listen closely to my voice." she said as he stared at her, wide eyed as she grinned, and narrowed her golden eyes at him as he listened, and she smiled.

"Stay where you are." she hissed to Youichi, and walked over to Natsume, holding out her arms and smiling as she smirked, and then wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and grinned, nodding.

"Good. Now, Natsume, I, Risa Mikota, I am your girlfriend. You hate Mikan Sakura, and, you want her dead. When you see her, tell her you love me and only me, tell her you never loved her from the start and that you just wanted to toy with her because it was fun. Say that seeing her bleed makes you happy, and that when she dies, you will have nothing to worry about in life. She's just a burden, see, a little hopeless burden no one likes. Do this for me, Natsume, and, no one will get hurt." she said into his ear softly, and she smiled as he nodded, and, just to make sure he understood that all,

she kissed him, and he returned it as she grinned, and pulled away, throwing her head back and laughing up to the skies, obviously happy with her master plan, that would soon kill Mikan Sakura...

X-X-X

Miyako woke up and stared around her surroundings. She gasped and tried to stand up, but her legs ached. She wanted to help Mikan, but could barely walk, so she had to prqacticly drag herself somewhere. She soon found herself near to where Risa was, and her eyes went wide when she saw that Risa was trying to get Natsume to be with her, and then, she saw it.

They kissed. Her eyes grew wide. If this didn't stop, then, she knew, that Mikan Sakura would surely drown in her tears...

End Chapter Twelve 

Sorry it was such a short chapter... I need to make the last chapter now, right? Please I hope you enjoyed and be free to want to kill Risa, I don't mind, really I don't.

Oh well, next chapter will be up soon! Today or tomorrow! Have fun reviewing! Adieu!

_**Love Blue -Niagra**_

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	13. The Final Plan, Mikan drowns in her Tear

Okay final chapter! What will happen to Mikan? Have you finally figured out the meaning of my title. how will it end. Remember, I said the happiness had stoped, this is no fairytale, people!

And DO NOT have nightmares! Sorry if you do, my bad!

Me: Disclaimed

Natsume: For obvious reasons.

Me: Don't cry during this chapter!

Natsume: OF COURSE THEY WILLC RY DIMWIT!

Me: Risa might, or might not, die, people.

Natsume: ... Thank god she doesn't own Gakuen Alice...

Me: WHAT WAS THAT!? murderous look in my eyes

Natsume: ... Nothing, idiot...

**Don't Drown in your Tears**

**Thirteen: The Final plan. Mikan drowns in her tears**

Risa grinned as Natsume stared at her, his eyes showed fake emotion, she knew, and she _loved_ it. Because if he was with her, then he wasn't with Mikan, adn that emo girl would finally be out of her hair and Risa could just have Natsume all to herself, and no one would bother her. First, Mikan, then who next? Youichi, Hotaru, Ruka... So hard to choose. She grinned.

"Natsume... Do you love me? And only me?" asked the cold hearted girl as Natsume stared down at her, and grinned, nodding as she smiled, and looked into his eyes. The love she always wanted from him. Too bad Mikan would have to see it, or, too good, Risa thought, grinning impishly.

"And who do you hate? Say it, say the name that you loathe the most, dearest Natsume. Who do you want dead? Who's carcass do you want to see on the ground. Whose blood do you want to shed?" hissed the girl as Natsume suddenly grew angry, thinking of Mikan, and he growled, punching a nearby tree and chipping the bark as Youichi stood there, rooted to the ground, watching in astonishment.

"Mikan Sakura." he growled as Risa grinned, nodding and looping her arms around his neck, an evil glint in her golden eyes as the sun shone on them, to her, this was a perfect day, but to Youichi, it would get much worse for Mikan, and, he knew she would never smile again if she realised what Risa had done. Risa then turned to look at the boy, and started to form a pout, then, she smirked.

"Youichi, forget everything you just saw. We don't want you telling that brat Mikan, do we you little maggot!" she hissed as Youcihi went wide eyed, and forgot everything. Risa smirked, she had planned all of this perfectly. She looked into every aspect of it, and made sure there were no flaws in her master plan. She wanted Mikan Sakura dead, and she was trying so hard to get to that stage.

And if she won, she had the pleasure of Natsume Hyuuga, and the pleasure of killing everyone else. Who had thought that Miyako was the colder twin? Risa was, indeed, she was the bitch, she had to be the best at everything, she evern had to beat Miyako at murder. Miyako never planned stuff, so, Risa did, and she planned to be the best, better than anyone else, so that she could one day rule over others.

Because to her, being the best meant _everything_. And yes, she was good at most things, lessons, planning, leadership, looks and talent, but she never beat Mikan Sakura at having a heart, so, she wasn't the best, but she didn't know that, yet. Risa just focused on other things like gaining Natsume Hyuug and making him deteste the girl he truly loved. That's what she wanted, more than anything, and, she wanted to watch Mikan Sakura wither away, of course.

Risa laughed, then hugged Natsume Hyuuga close to her, and smiled slyly as he returned the embrace. She was slwoly winning, know, she was winning on speed. Just how she loved it. She could already taste the victory.

Risa then looked over at Youichi and rolled her eyes. She didn't want the kid to get in the way of her perfect fairy tale, she thought, and wondered how to get rid of him quickly and easily. She could make him jump off a cliff. Or maybe get him to slice his own throat... She was so tempted with both ideas, she was surprised her genius could have thought that up, she smiled wickedly. She would have to kill him off with Mikan, wouldn't she?

"Natsume... You want to hurt her, right? Well, before saying those things to her, kiss me, and then say them. It will break that bitch up so bad, and she will _die_. It's what she deserves, right?" whispered the girl as Natsume smirked, liking her idea because she controlled him to, and he nodded, his arm around her waist as she grinned, and placed her hands on his chest.

"You are so cold... I love it." he whispered and she smiled, laughing under her breath icily as Natsume grinned, and Youichi stood there, shaking as Risa and Natsume held hands... Youichi couldn't bear to see Mikan go through anymore pain...

X-X-X

Mikan ran from everyone and she hid out down the cellars. She knew that was the most unlikely place to look for someone. Mikan let her back slide down the wall, she wondered if Natsume was okay and she hoped they weren't hurting him. She lay her head in her hands, and sniffed. The barrier around her grew weaker and weaker, the more she thought of it. Everyone hated her, that was the conclusion she instantly came to. No one loved her, like she said before a long time ago.

Now, she thought, life had no meaning to it. She sat there, sad and depressed. If life had no meaning to it, then, she should be dead. She stared up at the ceiling, and heard the dripping of water. She wished Tsubasa, Misaki and Kaname were all with her, they would help her, surely. But they had, of course, left years before. Mikan wished she had said goodbye to them, but being her stubborn self, she hadn't. She cried at that.

But she knew they had understood, after all, they had said goodbye to her befpre leaving, and they had tried to embrace her, but she shoved them away, although they just smiled and waved. Mikan wondered how they all were. She wondered if Kaname was still alive, since his alice took his life away from him, she wondered if Tsubasa and Misaki were married yet. Did they have children, at all? Did they even remember her?

Tears were shed as she thought of that, and her hand slipped from her face as she thought of them. She missed them, all of them, although she had never said her goodbyes to them, in her heart, she had said it, and they knew that. That was why they still loved her, she thought, despite how cold and cruel she had become. Mikan just hoped than one day, she would see them again, and they would see her smile, and see how happy she was. She hoped then, she would be with the boy she loved.

_Natsume_

She loved him, she could hardly deny it, Natsume Hyuuga, the biggest pervert and jerk on earth, was the one her heart belonged to. Even when she tried to hate him, she would think of him, however much she denied it, she still loved him, and when he returned, she fell in love with him even more. Mikan stared at the ceiling, a blush sprinkled across her cheeks that was getting redder by the second. She didn't know if she was meant to act like this or if it was her hormones playing up on her, whatever the reason, she didn't care.

She was deeply in love with Natsume Hyuuga, but, she had no idea he was with Risa, planning to hurt her even more than she already was. Mikan didn't know what was in for her that terrible day...

"We can't find her!" cried Koko as he ran towards an angry Sumire and Hotaru, who were trying to find Mikan. Ruka ran towards them, he had no luck either, and they were all growing angry. They just _knew_ Risa would kill them if they didn't bring Mikan to her for the last plan. They growled as they looked around, adn Hotaru narrowed her eyes, staring at a device in her hand.

"That brat has to be around here somewhere, or I will break her neck once I find her!" Sumire snapped as everyone agreed instantly, and Hotaru looked up at them coldly, then held up her trusty device. It was a good thing she was an inventor, she thought, and that was actaully a bad thing for poor Mikan. She smirked as she showed everyone her device and they stared at a red dot on the screen.

"She's located in the cellar, the idiot. Did she think that just because it is the least likely place we would go, meant we wouldn't find her there at all. I mean, come on, the stupid bitch obviously fogot my very interesting alice. Let's go!" Hotaru cried, and everyone agreed as Hotaru pocketed the device, and they headed for the cellar.

Mikan sat there in the dark, then heard muffled voices and footsteps, she gasped, wide eyed and stood up. She needed to leave, fast, before they even came close to her. She didn't want them to find her. Mikan looked around for an exit, and found one, but, she knew that Hotaru would find her if she had her ID card on her, so, Mikan dropepd it on the floor and sighed, then left as quick as she could before the stupid people could break the cellar door down. Mikan raced up to the exit, a window just big enough to fit through, and she was outside again in the sunlight.

She loathed the sun that day, because it was so cheerful and she wasn't. Mikan looked around for a new place to hide, and started to run around a little. She couldn't find Miyako at all, which worried her, alot, because she knew that the ghost girl should have been unconcious, she hoped she was okay. Mikan ran again, hoping to find Natsume and Miyako along the way.

But what she found instead, was much worse than finding a dead Miyako...

X-X-X

"Where the hell IS SHE!?" screamed Hotaru, hitting someone on the head as they cried in pain and she growled, looking at her device, trying to find Mikan who was supposedly in the basement. They couldn't find her anywhere, and Hotaru was getting in a bad mood, everyone saw, and tried to stay out of her way, especially Ruka, whom she took the blame on for everything after Risa brain washed her.

"Hotaru, don't get pissed off! The brat probably _died_ down here, anyways!" snapped Sumire as Hotaru growled, and threw the device against the wall as it smashed into millions of tiny pieces, and everyone went wide eyed because of what she did. Sumire and the others all took a careful step back so that no one would get hurt by the angry Hotaru, who suddenly kicked some boxes down, and growled, shaking a fist in the air.

"That bitch had better come out soon, or I will yell so loud that God will fall down off his fucking throne!" she screeched, and then, as everyone looked around frantically for Mikan, Nonoko spotted something, and walked towards it, picking it up and staring at it before holding it up for everyone to see.

"I found her, but, she got away again. The bitch tricked us." said Nonoko coldly as everyone stared at the ID, and Hotaru _scareamed_. She screamed so loudly everyone had to cover their ears, and they raced to the cellar door, ready to try and find Mikan again, to take her to Risa, but, they didn't know Mikan had accidentally ran into the Master Plan Risa had created for her...

Miyako saw Mikan run past, and she gasped, she knew Mikan would see, and she turned into a ghost and started to speed after Mikan, who was running like lightning. Miyako tried to stop her, but Mikan just ran through the transparent girl, who remembered ghosts weren't hollow like humans, but if she was a ghsot, then she could walk, run and fly, but in her human state, she was much weaker and couldn't move at all.

So all she had to do was hope that Mikan didn't see anything, but she knew that however much she wanted Mikan to turn into a different direction, all chance was hoeless, because Mikan stopped running, and stood there, seeing the site before her as her eyes widened. Miyako stopped aswell, and held onto her shoulders toghtly as tears readied themselves to leak from her transparent eyes, and Mikan stood, shocked at the sight before her.

Risa Mikota and Natsume Hyuuga... Were holding hands, and... They were... Kissing!? Mikan gasped in shock and horror, sadness mixed into her confused hazel eyes as the two looked up, and Natsume smirked as Risa pushed herself against him, and embraced the lad, while Mikan watched in horror as they grinned towards her, looking happy with themselves as Mikan stood, shaking her head.

"No... No..." she whispered, and Natsume grinned, nodding.

"Yes..." he grinned as Mikan shook her head, and stepped back, then fell down to the ground with a large thump, and Natsume laughed coldly as Risa followed suit, and, Natsume pointed a finger at her, glaring at her.

"You are the last person I want to see! I don't know why I even returned here, because I knew I would have to see you again! You know, telling you I loved you was the hugest mistake in my life, I love Risa now, and only Risa. I never loved you from the start, I only wanted to toy with you because it was funny. When I saw how hurt you were the day I left, I was glad, it made me so happy inside! And when you cut yourself, bleeding, I found that hilarious because I wanted you to die so badly! " he laughed as Mikan shook her head, tears streaming down her face.

"No, Natsume... Natsume you said you loved me!" she wailed, and he laughed even harder.

"Love!? Love you! Get real, you social wreck! The only thing I would love about you is seeing you dead! The day you die a burden will be off my back, and I will be the happiest guy alive! I won't have you to follow me around, to try and control me anymore! I won't have to worry! I can't wait till that day comes, you worthless bitch!" he yelled, and the barirer snapped, and Mikan couldn;t control it anymore, and she screamed, tears trailing down her face.

"No... No... NO!!!" she screamed as birds flew from the tree's and Mikan stood up, running as Natsume blinked, suddenly snapped out of his trance. When her barrier of nullification broke, Mikan lost control and the emotion in her heart caused her alice to go haywire.ikan ran as fast as she could, the tears streaming down her face. Her nullification alice had broken the alice held over Natsume, and he realised what he had done, and tried to go after her as Risa's eyes widened.

Mikan had broken her alice!

"Mikan! WAIT!" Natsume cried, but Risa pulled him back, angry and holding his arm tightly as she growled and glared,

"Don't you dare go near her! Hear me! If you go near her I will kill you! I will KILL YOU ALL!" Risa yelled as Natsume glared at her, and elbowed her in the stomach as she gasped and fell, clutching her stomach and coughing up blood while Natsume ran after Mikan, and so did Youichi, going after them both as Miyako flew behind them, worried about the crying Mikan.

Hotaru and the others regained control over their minds again, and realised what they had done, as well, and quickly went off to search for Mikan who was running and running, turning corners until she reached a lake, no one knew where she was, and she stood there, looking at her tear stained reflection, and shook her head, the tears splashed into the water slowly, dripping from her face.

"Don't drown in your tears... Don't drown in them, Mikan Sakura... Ah, now I see what he meant." she whispered to herself as she stood there, looking at the sky, it was growing darker and darker...

Natsume ran and ran, trying to find her, tears in his eyes...

Another tear drop fell as Mikan stared at the sky, then looked back down at her reflection, and sighed, seeing herself.

"Don't drown in your tears, he meant... I shouldn't cry so much for him, even if he was still there, if I cried, I would never smile again, so, he wanted me to smile... After all this time... He wanted my smile... To see me smiling, and, if I did cry... I would drown, and... Be lost, right, Natsume?" she whispered, and stared down at her reflection, then, lifted the corners of her mouth, and, she smiled.

But, no one else would see it, because the last thing she did, was fall face first into the cold water of the lake, and she didn't get up...

Natsume heard a loud splash, adn his eyes widened, he ran towards the source of the sound, and, it took a 5 minute run, and he knew it, he was too late, When he saw her lying there, in the water, face first, he knew she was gone, and would never come back. The tears were seen in his eyes and shone in the moonlight as he stared at her, crying, and went towards her, falling on his knee's, and slowly, he lifted her body out of the water, and stared at her.

He then realised, she had drowned in her tears. He saw those tears smudged on her beautiful face, and, he knew he had been the reason why she drowned in her tears. He then put his lips on hers, and his tears hit her face, and then, he let go of her, and fell in aswell...

After a while, everyone found them there, in the lake, head first, dead. Risa stared at them, and realised that her plan had succeeded, but she had made the biggest mistake in her life. She may have killed Mikan Sakura, but, she also killed Natsume Hyuuga, the person she was trying to gain. She never got him, because even if Mikan Sakura had lived, she would have still won Natsume, because love wasn't forced, it was what came from the heart, something she didn't have.

But the most shocking thing was, seeing another person in the water next to them. Risa hadn't just killed two people, she also killed her sister, in the process of it all. The only person, who ever really loved her.

They had all drowned in their tears, and the day that Youichi was waiting for? The day he saw Mikan smile again? That day, would never come, and Hotaru knew, this was...

_**The End, of her smile...**_

finished. Sorry about the ending... I didn't cry, though, and I was listening to a sad song from when Mikan fell in, it helped me, alot, sorry I had to post this, but I did say it, there would be no happy ending and all the happiness had stopped. So, please, review, and I am sorry if you cry...

Arigatou for reading.

_**Love Kelly**_

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	14. AN

A/N: I am sorry for those of you who wanted Mikan to somehow live through everything, I truly am, but this is how I planned the story from the start. I will not change it, not at all. It was what I planned on doing a year after I made it, so sorry, people, but this is how it ends. Mikan and Natsume died along with Miyako. I had the choice to make Youichi go along with them but I didn't. Sorry, yet again, but please, forgive me.

And I remember correctly that the story would NOT end happily. I stuck to my guns, people. Sorry it had to end that way, but, I don't plan on changing it at all.

Sorry, yet again.

_**Love Blue -Niagra**_

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